Our Boheme

“Schaun- Nights like this won’t last…..  I am happy, I am incurably happy, but that is only in this moment.  The next may be poisoned.  But now I breathe happiness and life and youth and myself.  I love, I want love and I give love to whoever wants it.  Life cares for no one but we can care for each other.  We are so special as a temporal people that my chest wants to burst with love.  We are special, we exist only in this moment in time, great or not, we are here, we are the now.  The world will never know us again.  Soon we won’t know us again.  Where lies the height of love, the deepest love?  It lies in those who make it of their own blood.   *sits down at the bar*”

 

Four guys out of college move to a cabin on a lake to pursue their art. They have been at this cabin for 6 months.

Act 1 Scene 1 – Marc + Roldo frustrated with a lack of creative spirit.

Marc – Hey bud, what are you working on?

Roldo – Ahh, nothing much.  I’m just writing some free verse, hoping to get some decent material going but it hasn’t been working out too well.

Marc – Fuck man, i’m kind of in the same boat.  I’m sick of drawing this fucking pond and all the goddamn trees.  Im kinda missing the city…

Roldo – Ahh, I hear ya.  Have you tried drawing some animals or something?  You can draw me nude, I’ve been working out and I’m getting fucking jacked.

Marc – Thanks for the suggestion ass.  I don’t know, I feel like I’m just copying all the other assholes before me drawing nature and shit.  Wow i’m really saying a lot, “Look at the beautiful moonlit pond with the windy trees flowing yonder” Fucking stupid.

Roldo – Hey, HEY… Can I use that!?!?!

Marc – Oh my god, you are an ass.

Roldo – Haha, sorry man.  No, don’t worry about it.  I know what you mean, kinda feels sterile out here eh.  There is nothing to really fire up the instincts.  I mean, really we’re nothing but our instincts and reactions to the world around us.  But .. maybe removing those stimuli is important, you get to see your own opinions uninfluenced by other people.  Van Gogh learned about himself through every painting he created.  I like skies… I like stars… I like…….  Clogs.

Marc – Ahh fuck, I know I know.  But maybe my depths have been plumbed and i’m really just boring as fuck.

Roldo – Well you definitely are boring me, *smiles*.  Hey, i’m going to go out for a walk, clear my head a bit.

Marc – Ahh yeah, aight man, I’ll see you in a bit.

Roldo – See yuh.

Scene 2 – Shaun’s Story plus offer to take everyone to amusement park

-Outside of Cabin

(Schaun runs into Roldo heading out for a walk)

Schaun – Hey dude, where you going?

Roldo – Just out for a walk.

Schaun – Well hey, don’t go too far, we are going to Momus tonight.

Roldo – I’m sorry man, I’d love to go but I can’t afford it.

Schaun – Yes you can, I made an extra thousand bucks tonight, I’m taking us out.

Roldo – What the hell?  You sure man?

 

Schaun – Look at this face.  Look at this face..  This face…. THIS face… would not lie.

Roldo – haha, alright dude, I’ll see you when I get back.

Schaun – Later.

Schaun Enters cabin

Marc – Sup dude,

Schaun – Sup,

Coll – Hey (Coll comes out of room to hang out with everyone)

Marc – Schaun, you seem pretty happy.

Schaun – Fuck yeah im happy, good call by the way.  Yeah man, I just came back from a gig singing at this dipshit’s “rehearsal” middle school graduation party.  What the hell, middle school graduation….  Fucking stupid… anyway…. So I finish singing some Justin Beiber bullshit and the mom, hot as fuck by the way, comes up fucking beaming and says that I’ve done such an amazing job.  I’m like, “well, it’s really the quality of music that makes the voice soar”  The idiot ate that shit up.  We talked about how great this middle school was and how so many “graduates” end up going to college…. Moron. Anyways, she invited me into the house to give me the check.  I finished my beer and followed her in.  You ready for this shit?  She hands me the check, then just starts kissing me man.

Marc – what the fuck?

Schaun – yeah, she was nuts about it.  Moaning and shit.  But dude this is the best part. So, I told her that I didn’t have a condom so I couldn’t do anything.  She says that she knows where her daughter keeps her condoms and goes and gets one.  HAHA, What the hell!  That shit is messed up man.

Marc –  so.

Schaun – It was pretty sweet man.  Older women know what the fuck they are doing.

Marc – Gross dude.

Schaun – whatever man.  I had a good time, AAAANND.  She gave me a thousand fucking dollars extra.  HAHA, isn’t that awesome?!

Marc – damn, that’s nuts. A thousand dollars?

Schaun – Yup. So, I was thinking, we haven’t been to Momus in a damn long time.  The night on me?

Marc – haha, cool man, yeah let’s do it.  Thanks so much, sorry about saying your…  was gross.

Schaun –  nah man it’s cool.  No offense taken.  Actually, she was telling me how one of her daughters just graduated from Lincoln and will be in town for a while.  We should try to hit her up.

Marc – haha, fuck yeah, cool.  That’s some fucked up shit, haha.

Schaun – Yo dude (to Coll), maybe we should invite the 14 year old so you can bang her.

Coll  – Hmm, I’ll pass on that one.

Schaun – Whatever, Fag. *smiling*

Coll – Anyways, I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back in an hour or so.

Schaun –  Aight man, I’ll see you in a  bit.

Coll – See ya.

Marc – See ya.

Scene 3 – Coll’s Monologue (shy and lonely)

Coll walking on a path next to the lake.

Coll – In my last moment of living, what would I have to hold onto?  I have felt love, I know what it looks like face to face.  It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life though it has not defined it.  I am proud to have felt it, and I feel partly redeemed by it.  It’s troubling that the rest seems to be emptiness.  I just haven’t had fun in life.  Perhaps I feel that I don’t deserve it, that I am too flawed to be allowed to indulge in it.  In my last moment of living I want the image of myself to be someone defined by an instinct of joy, an instinct of love.  But I want it to be my joy and my love, unique to me.  I just don’t know myself well enough and I think that I have been too afraid to find out.

Scene 4 – Rondo’s Monologue meets Lucia.  (Grave misgivings about girl he is dating, feels stifled, she has become controlling)

Roldo – Ahh fuck, It’s all so beautiful but it just feels pointless.  Man has been explored, what is there left to say? I feel boring, do I write a play with a main character gripped with the same fear?  Or will that come through inherently in whatever I write.  Also, in the end, what’s the point if I’ve already recognized that I’m boring.  Why create the abstraction in the first place?  …..  Maybe it would reveal something deeper behind the loneliness that I just can’t see yet.  Ahh fuck me. Haha……. Ahh, it sure is beautiful out here. That’s for sure.  I hate to admit it but it’s nice to be away from Sammy for a while.  Ahh I shouldn’t say that…  How did I get into this mess?  I can’t leave her, I’ve known her for too long and she knows me well.  I worry that I am nothing but a warm body to her to keep her company and she knowing that I am too boring to ever expect anything better…….  I want to hold a woman in my arms who loves me.  It’s been six years and I still don’t feel that.  It’s okay, everything will be okay.

Lucia drives by

Lucia – Hey, seems kinda late for a walk.

Roldo –  Ahh yeah, just clearing my head.

Lucia – Oh, well clear away, I won’t disturb you.

Roldo – Haha, it’s alright.  I’m Roldo by the way.

Lucia-  I’m Lucia. I live down the road, I was just driving up to see the lake.  It is so beautiful in the winter isn’t it?

Roldo – It’s so beautiful but why aren’t you with your family?! It’s Christmas eve, haha.  Instead you bombard lone strangers on an emo walk down the corridors of thought.

Lucia – I guess I am just in a harassing mood.  But regarding your first question, fuck my family.  They are fuuuucked up.  I guess they just had some goofy “rehearsal” graduation party.  Want to know what I was doing during that?  Hooking of course, idiot.  Haha, Umm, no, I tend to steer clear of them nowadays.

Roldo – Ahh, I see, well, I’m out here with three other dudes from college.  We decided to move away from the city and just try to really devote ourselves to being creative.

Lucia – Fair enough.  Sounds like an interesting dynamic.

Roldo – Haha, interesting is a good word for it.  Well hey, we actually live in a cabin on the lake, no not my cheesy idea, if you were heading there, you are welcome to hang out with us, though I’m not sure that we are doing anything particularly interesting tonight.  I think we were going to go to Momus or something.  But we’ll probably just end up getting wasted on wine and loneliness. Haha.

Lucia – I love lonliness! But i’ll pass on the wine. *smiling*  Umm, yeah, ya know that does sound cool.  How about I give you a ride back and you can show me where the cabin is?

Roldo – Sounds good to me.  It’s getting kinda cold out here anyway.

Lucia – Oh is it?  I didn’t know, it’s so cozy in here *smiling*

Roldo – (gets in car) So, it is basically down the road a bit…… Pause……  So why this lake on Christmas eve?

Lucia – pause….  Do you think the world wants us here?

Roldo – ?? ..I don’t know.

Lucia – I don’t think it does, otherwise why would it be so deathly cold, so uninhabitable in so many ways?  It is man who imposes itself on the world, challenging its dominance.  We’ve created coats if we want to go outside when it is cold, houses for larger living spaces.  We have fire to keep these houses warm.  These houses have expanded to restaurants, bars, hotels, etc.  We live in this age of artificial warmth and take it for granted…  But it’s not the artificial warmth that we take for granted, but our warmth; the heat that generated it in the first place.  I like to come out here and feel the blood flowing through my veins next to a frozen lake, next to snow, next to a landscape quieted by the cold.  It makes me appreciate what I have and certainly the importance of it all.

Roldo – Well, Ms. Ice Queen, you sure do have it nice and cozy in this car.  I’ve been walking for the past half hour in the cold and I am already sweating in here.

Lucia – Shut up *smiling*  Going out to the lake is symbolic!! *smiling*

Roldo – Haha, no I understand.  Reminds me of Thoreau who wanted to live independently at Walden Pond, but supposedly he went to the city all the time for groceries and laundry.  I appreciate the desire, and it’s not fair to make him gather all the skills necessary to be perfectly self-sufficient.  It’s not really what he was trying to get after.

 

Lucia –  Do you like Thoreau?

Roldo – Yeah, I like.. well.. used to like Thoreau. Pause..  I think the reason that I liked Walden Pond was because at the time I was really searching for a sense of self or even a sense of what I wanted, what life was.  I really related to his desire to discover who he really was and what life was all about.  It really helped me a lot actually. I tend to like books that explore a new side of thought.  I guess you could say anything exotic, even if it is an exotic morality issue or exotic human mentality.  It was eye opening to look at literature and art as essentially projections, not contrivances.  They are thought.  They are human, the human instinct given voice.  I guess in Thoreau’s case it was an instinct of self-discovery. But now i’d just rather be involved.

Lucia – Cool, well put.  I suppose I feel the same way about music.  Some bands can really transport you to a different mentality or view.  I just like the idea of transportation in music, to a new world or environment.  You can feel the musician’s experience and soul.

Roldo – Do you play any instruments?

Lucia – Haha, well, guitar but every asshole plays guitar.  I just like to write little tunes for myself, they aren’t anything special but they are at least personal and honest.

 

Roldo – Great! You will have to play one for me sometime.

Lucia – Haha, ok, I’ll try to think of some of my classic hits to play for you.

Roldo – Long career?

Lucia – Cut short by being just too awesome.

Roldo – So take a left here and here we are.

Lucia – Wow, you are right on the lake, it’s so beautiful.

Roldo – After you. (opens door for Lucia)

Scene 5 – Roldo, Lucia, Schaun +Marc at house, Coll still on a walk.(Schaun’s advice)

Schaun – Fuck, when is Roldo getting back.  I have to tell that fucker about my banging adventure.

Marc – He just wanted to clear his head, I think he feels like he is stuck, no inspiration.

Schaun – What the fuck, inspiration? Just do whatever the fuck you want, that’s inspiration.

Marc– It’s not always that easy.

Schaun – …

Marc – Dude it’s not.  Sometimes what we want is hidden from us, and it can be difficult to figure it out.

Schaun – …

Marc – Dude, it’s hard if you want to actually be original.

Schaun – Maybe wanting to be original is the problem.  Just be yourself haha.  If you are just like everyone else, then just accept it and move on.  Liz cheated on you and you moved on. Same thing.  You just retain yourself, empower yourself.

Marc – That’s good advice but I loved Liz and I think that I was, for the most part, myself.  Yet she found someone better.  Who I am was inferior to the man she left me for.  How can I possibly come to grips with that?  My only choice is to pursue originality, something higher.

Schaun – Marc, you are confusing who she was at the time, who she saw you as, and who you know yourself to be.  I can say this now, but I’ve known you both for a while now, she never really knew who you were.  I don’t think she had the kind of spirit that wanted to find out.  I think that she was too much wrapped up in herself that she couldn’t care.  She rejected a “non you”.  You can’t let this lower your self-esteem.  Explore what you like and dislike, hey you found out that you don’t like girls that cheat on you.  Boom, self-knowledge.

Marc – Fair enough.  It’s just hard to feel adequate when you feel so different from others.

*The group enters*

Schaun – You are an artist.  Fuck the world.

Marc – (to Roldo) Hey man how was your walk?

Scene 6 All return to house, Coll last, and discuss plans, meet each other.  Roldo breaks up with his girlfriend

Roldo – It was good.  This is Lucia (Lucia waves), she was driving to see the lake and offered to give me a ride back to the cabin.  (to Lucia) did you still want to come with us to Momus?

Lucia – (Looks at Schaun and Marc).. no, not anymore, not handsome enough. *smiles*

Marc – Haha, damn.

Schaun– Typical woman, completely irrational. *jokingly*

Lucia – You’re right, (pointing to Marc) He definitely is handsome enough.

Marc – Haha.

Schaun – God damnit. *smiling*

Roldo – Well hey, Merry Christmas eve I guess.  I had stashed away a few bottles of wine for tonight, I’m going to grab them, be right back. (goes to his room)

Lucia – Yum yum yum.  Love wine.

Schaun – Yeah, it’s alright.

Lucia –Best drunk, hands down.

Marc – Haha, yeah, and vodka.  Anything else makes me feel uncomfortably full or sleepy.

Lucia – But for color alone you have to go with scotch.

Marc – Hell yeah, slam a few glasses of scotch, won’t even need a coat to go outside.

Lucia – mmm.  So what do you guys do around here?

Marc – We work, we work a lot.  We have a rule that we can only consume outside culture for one hour a day.  For the rest of the time, we create.  We work on our projects.

Schaun – I make money.

Marc – Well, Schaun is definitely the most proactive in that regard.

Schaun – Yeah, well, it’s all I really can do, music is a living art and there is a good demand for teachers and performers.  I of course…. do both. *bows with hand gesture*

In Roldo’s Room

(Roldo hears Schaun say, “I of course …. Do both”) gets a phone call from Sammy.

Roldo – “Hey, how are you?”

Sammy – “I’m not doing well *snarling*, why didn’t you call?”

Roldo – “Ahh, sorry about that, I was about to call.  I went on a walk to clear my head and forgot.”

Sammy – “Wow, well that’s good to hear that an exciting and stimulating WALK makes you forget about me.”

Roldo – “I didn’t mean to forget, I just did.  I’ve been having a tough few days and…”

Sammy – “NO, you meant to not remember.  You placed a priority on yourself and not on us.  I was sitting here, wasting my time waiting for you to call.  It’s really unacceptable.”

Roldo – “You can’t take offense to things like this.  I didn’t mean anything by it, it was a simple mistake and I didn’t mean to make you wait”

 

Sammy – “Don’t go acting like you didn’t mean it.  It hurts me a lot that you don’t care about me.  It is actually abusive.”

Roldo – “Wait what?  Why would you say that, I’ve always been there for you.  I helped you find your apartment for school, I was there for you when your friend was killed by a drunk driver, I’ve been there for you for 6 years, what the hell.”

Sammy – “You don’t care about my feelings at all, you only care about yourself.  You are so selfish with everything.  Clearly your father never taught you how to be a good man.”

Roldo – “pause…….Sammy…… this is over…  I am not happy with you as my girlfriend.  You are no longer my girlfriend.”

Sammy – “What? No baby, we can work this out, I was just in a bad mood.  Why are you saying this??”

Roldo – “I am sorry, this relationship has made me genuinely unhappy, and I want it ended.”

Sammy – “Who are you with, who have you been with?”

Roldo – “I have always been faithful to you Sammy.  I no longer want you in my life”

Sammy – “What did I do?  Tell me what I did wrong?”

Roldo – “Goodbye Sammy.  Don’t bother calling, I won’t answer your calls.” (hangs up phone)

In the living room

Lucia – Marc, what is your craft?  May I call it a craft?

Marc – I actually prefer “art of the gods” if I may. *smiling* Actually, I paint, draw, stencil art, etc.

Lucia – What are you working on now?

Marc – It’s actually a night painting of where I used to stand outside and smoke with Roldo.  We both quit but it brings back good memories.  I like the drama of the area at night, it adds to the stillness of the experience.  I have the pillar with a burning cigarette sitting… (Roldo walks in with the wine… to Roldo) Hey man, you remember smoking outside on the porch when the fall came around?

Roldo – Haha, yeah.  Best time to smoke… *smiles*  Here is the wine I got. (A takes the wine opener from Roldo and begins opening a bottle, Schaun goes into the kitchen to get some glasses, comes back with them)

Roldo – So how long has it been since we’ve been to Momus?

Marc – Since we moved in, so a year and a half?

Roldo – Yeah that sounds about right.

Schaun – I hear it is cool on Christmas eve, they do a bunch of decorations and everyone comes out to see it.

Lucia – I honestly haven’t been there on Christmas eve since I was a little girl.

Roldo – Also, if you want to invite some friends, you are more than welcome, I imagine it is pretty awkward for you with all of us.

Lucia – Not at all, but yeah, i’ve got a few friends here back from school who would be down to hang out.

Marc – Hey, very cool.  You guys will have to show us around.

Lucia – Gals.

Schaun – Hey, why isn’t Coll back, man that dude takes long walks.

Roldo – He is a philosopher, what else would you expect.

Lucia – Woah, philosopher?  Sounds like an intense fellow.

Schaun – Yeah that’s fair.

Marc – Well hey, let’s pour him a glass and toast when he gets here.

Roldo – Sounds good, (Coll opening door) …woah no way.

Coll – Hey guys.

Roldo – We were just wondering when you would get back, good timing man.

Coll – Cool, … wine?

Marc – Got a glass for you right here buddy.

Lucia – Do you guys have like some bohemian toast you always make? *smiling*… pause…

Schaun –Nah

*All clink glasses  

Act 2 Amusement park

Scene 1 – Group enters setting scene of excitement.  Festive atmosphere, Christmas eve, thrill of love in the air. The sun has set far into the sky making it purple with a sliver of bright orange on the horizon.

Schaun – (to Marc) Dude, so how many roller coasters do you want to try to go on?

Marc – We should try to get to all of them, front row of course.

Schaun – Hell yeah. I am going to be so drunk on these coasters, I hope I puke on someone mid ride.

Coll – You should eat a salad at dinner so your vomit will be red from the wine and green from the salad, “Christmas Puke”.

Lucia – Haha, gross.

Roldo – (comes back with five maps of the amusement park)  There is a bar over here and it looks like they have food too. *in a cinematic voice*  ..according to the Legend (pointing at the legend on the map)..

Lucia – …

Roldo – What?? *smiling*

Lucia – Good one. *smiling*

Roldo – I enjoyed it. *smirking*

Schaun – Yeah, let’s go there.  There’s no way I am going to be sober tonight.

Lucia – Ok, sounds good, I’ll call my friends now and tell them to meet us there.

Coll – (to Marc, both are a bit separated from the group)  Do you remember riding on those things (points to a merry-go-round)

Marc – Yeah, definitely,

Coll – I remember riding one when I was a kid and thinking that I was riding something archaic in a way.  That I was supposed to be having so much fun but really wasn’t.  Like when a kid hurts himself and only cries because all of the adults around seem to expect him to.  I just don’t think I bought into it the way the adults wanted me to.  I rode it again to test it hoping that volume of rides would somehow make up for the lack of exciting quality but they never did.  I wonder if other kids felt the same thing or if it was just me.  Do kids now enjoy it the way they are “supposed to”?

Marc – I honestly don’t really remember them much actually so I guess I can’t give a good answer.  I imagine that that is just a part of the gap between parent and child.  There is a parent trying to give a kid an ideal that they have created through adulthood, and a kid just learning about the world for the first time, weighing his own opinions against that of others.  He is told the merry go round is fun, but feels the opposite.  I do however remember those things that spun around that you had to push to get going.  Those were fun, also swings!  I remember going on swings even into high school… randomly of course.  ..Pause..  Dude, do you ever think about what your former self would have thought of you now?

Coll – In a way, I’ve thought about what I would have wanted myself to have become.  Would I like who I am now?  Honestly.. yes and no.  There are parts I would be glad to see have changed and parts that are still frustratingly immovable.  But honestly there is no comparison, I can honestly say that my life has been redeemed these past few years.  Whatever my issues are, I can forever, in a certain way, be ultimately happy.

Marc – I’m glad you feel that way!  I think that I would have been happy about what we have decided to pursue.  And I love you guys *smiling*

Coll – I agree.  pause…  What do you think, Irish Whisky or Scotch.

Marc – Dude, unfair, both are so good……..  Irish Whisky, we are young, definitely Irish Whisky.

Schaun – Hey Roldo, (pointing at a bar) is that it?

Roldo – Yeah, I think so.

Lucia – My friends said that they are already there.

Roldo – Cool.

Scene 2 – Food and drinks, meet Lucia’s friends.  Amira and Musett. (all at bar)

Group walks into the bar.  Lucia points to a back booth where two girls are sitting opposite each other.  Lucia acknowledges them and introduces the guys.  The two girls move to the same side, and the guys join them.  Schaun sits on a chair at the end of the table.  Roldo on the end facing Lucia.  Marc in the middle facing Musett and Coll on the inside end facing Amira.

Marc – So how do you guys know each other?

Musett – We actually all just went to highschool together.  I guess we’ve known each other for.. what.. 10 years now?

Marc – Wow, that’s pretty cool.  It’s sad to say but I think I have one friend that I’ve kept from my high school days.  I remember walking to his place after the last day of middle school and just playing video games and eating pizza.  It was so much fun, seems almost idyllic now.  Whenever I visit him back home now, we do the exact same thing haha.

Lucia – (to girls) Should I tell them about our tradition?

Musett – Haha, sure.

Lucia – We get hammered, walk around the town just looking at stuff and try to remember as much as we can of our high school days together.  It’s funny the things you end up remembering.  I remember how we would go to the movies and stuff as many cans of soda as we could into our purses and jackets, like seven to ten each.  Then only drink one or two when we were actually in the theater.  We would try to cough whenever we opened a can but it would always end up being *Cough* pause *Psss*  … So after walking around drunk we would go back to one of our places and watch one of our favorite movies growing up.

 

Marc – Haha, so what movie is it this time around?

Musett – I’m not sure, we haven’t decided yet.  I guess that was going to be tonight’s plan but you a-holes messed it up *smiling*

Marc – Sorry!  We didn’t knooow!!

Musett – Your penance shall be to buy me a drink.  So how did this happen, how did you guys meet Lucia?

Schaun – Emo-dick over here wanted to take a walk and I guess ran into Lucia.

Lucia – Haha, Roldo, you looked so focused when I saw you, I just had to see if you were alright if anything.

Roldo –  You surprised the hell out of me when you started talking to me.  Every horror film I’d ever seen ran through my mind all at once.  I’m glad you stopped though, we’d be having a boring ass night right now otherwise.

Musett – Circle Jerk?

Marc – Haha what the fuck *smiling, I hope not.  Probably just get drunk and make up dirty Christmas songs.

Schaun – “Dashing through the blow, it’s the true way to get laid, condomless we go, laughing all the…”  Ahh, I can’t think of anything else.

Musett – Yup, good thing you found us *smiling*

Roldo – Haha, oooooh.

Schaun – Whatever, these are gems..

Marc – I love how you all managed to get away from your families.  I mean, I would probably have tried to avoid mine as well but they are half way across the country so at least it is an easy explanation.  But I would feel guilty.  Tell us why you don’t feel guilty *smiling*

Musett – I guess there are different kinds of families, and sometimes it is important to start new ones.

Scene 3 – Coll and Amira are a bit more introverted, but start talking to each other while the others talk.  They are still at the table.

Coll – …

 

Amira – …

Coll – So, it looks like we won’t be going to the bathroom for a while (looking over at the other people blocking their path out of the booth)

Amira – Haha, right.  It’s ok, alcohol makes you not want to pee right? .. Oh shit..

Coll – Well hey, at least we get this cool lamp to play with…  and we get first dibs on the salt and pepper.  Eh?

Amira – But I was going to order a salad..  Shit.

Coll – No you weren’t, no one orders a salad on Christmas Eve. *smiling*

Amira – Haha, yeah you got me.  I haven’t even thought about what I want.  I normally choose the thing on the menu that either I’ve never heard of or is hardest to pronounce.

Coll – Interesting philosophy.  I guess you get to try new things all the time.  Probably have a field day in the slavic countries.

Amira –That’s a good idea.  Or maybe I could ask if this place has a menu written in Czech and make my decision from there.

Coll – Poor waitress if they did have one in Czech.  Memorizing a menu is bad enough, memorizing one in Czech PLUS perfect pronunciation.  I guess my tip is going to have to go up now.  Damn you.

Amira – Haha.  I’ll chip in, how about that?  Have you ever been to Europe?

Coll – No, just a bunch of the states in the US but that’s about it.  Furthest west has been Phoenix and East… New York.  South…. San Antonio.  This may sound blasphemous coming from a supposed bohemian, but I feel almost no drive to see Europe or other countries.  I feel like it should interest me but it doesn’t really.  Is our generation numbed to culture shock, maybe it’s just me.  I’d rather just read.

Amira – I wouldn’t say that I am the opposite but I think traveling could be exciting.  I am actually going to Germany after new years.  It would be my first time out of the country.  I don’t think I am excited because I expect culture shock but I think it would be cool to see what the art culture is like there.  It would be cool to meet like-minded artists who may perceive style in a completely different way, maybe the exact same way.  It’s the not-knowing that makes it exciting.

Coll – I love your intrepid attitude.  Now that I think of it, I think that I would only like to travel places because I could be in the same place that a great man from the past has worked.  I would go to the school that Kant taught in Germany where Nietzsche wrote, or where Wagner composed; to feel the possibilities of human existence within the randomness of time and circumstance.

Amira – That sounds really cool.  How about this, I’ll find some live music, play a German pinball machine, slip and fall on a cobblestone knowing that people have probably done the same many times before me. *smiling

Coll – So what are you doing in Germany?

Amira – Just some work.  I am lucky to have the job.

Coll – Do you think you will stay there for good or come back to the states?

Amira – I’m not sure.  I guess it depends on a lot of things.

Coll – Ahh, I understand.  It’s nice to know that you have options. None of us have wives or kids so we have a lot of freedom.  We certainly couldn’t be doing what we are doing if we had kids running around to take care of.  It is great how little it costs to live if you aren’t extravagant.

Amira – Well, I am glad that I am not in Germany yet, I like talking to you.

Coll – Same.  It is just funny what I would be doing otherwise right now.  I would probably be just reading some semi-interesting book but secretly pining for meaningful interaction.

Amira – Well, have you found any?

Coll – Haha, yeah I think so.  I like talking to you too, plus you look kinda good in that lamp light *smiling*

Amira – *a bit bashful* Thanks, that’s nice of you to say, I think you are a handsome guy as well.

Coll – Well you know, it’s the calorie restricted diet of a bohemian, keeps me fit *smiling*

Amira – I said handsome, not fit, you could use a little work on your hip flexors. *smiling*

Coll – Say what you want about my body but there is no way you can criticize my hip flexors, they were molded by the gods themselves.

Amira – Nice, well, they must have been starting it out as a hobby, unskilled clearly.

Coll – ……. Have you ever heard about this documentary about the creators of indie games?

Amira – No, I don’t think so.

Coll – There is this one guy who is clearly brilliant but maybe a bit messed up in the head, he was creating the levels all by himself, and he found that the later levels were much more artistic and detailed than the first ones he designed, basically because he had gotten really good with the designing program over time.  The poor guy had to go back and redo all of the early levels to make them match the later ones.  Shit, i’d go crazy if I had to do that, or felt compelled to do that.

Amira – Yeah that must be brutal.  Just knowing that he put so much effort into those early stages, and it was probably even more challenging because he was getting used to it.  I would be devastated to scrap those levels.  If I write a little poem for myself, most of the time it doesn’t take much time and it isn’t that big of a deal to discard.  But I do remember the first poems I wrote, they took so much time to figure out.  I just wasn’t skilled at writing in meter or even thinking in condensed poetic terms.  Not that I am a great poet now, probably the level of a schizophrenic hobo.  Yeah, that’s about right *smiling*

Coll – Haha, schizophrenic hobo, poor guy.  Well at least he is expressing himself.  A lot of sane people don’t end up doing that.  I wonder if there is a sane schizophrenic, that sounds odd, but a schizophrenic that is adjusted, recognizes that he is different, embraces his originality and feels no guilt, no shame.  He finds strength in his affliction.  But I suppose most are paranoid and afraid, unable to deal with what surrounds them or to make sense of it.

Amira – I really don’t know, who knows.  It would be a great search though, I wonder what he would be like.  Being different, what a horrible and blessed thing.

Coll – I agree.  It’s interesting seeing the shift in thought of the philosophers of the past.  There are times where the “solution” is sought.  The “System” is the great explanation of all things, complete, finite.  Then philosophers came along saying that individuality breaks all knowledge.  Individuality is intimate knowing, it is creating.  One cannot create within a static system.  If we acknowledge that there is the possibility of creating, then no system can exist.  Life constantly breathes and dies according to those who live it.

Amira – Hey, do you want anything to drink? I was going to order a vodka.  My treat.

Coll – Haha, you don’t have to buy me anything.

Amira– I really want to.  What do you want?

Coll – Irish Whisky, definitely Irish Whisky.  Neat please.  *said more formally*

 

Amira – You got it.  (orders drink)

Coll – You seem very determined.

Amira– I feel like I want a toast with you.  I like how passionate you are about thinking and what life means to you.  I want to share that with you, with a toast!

The others cue in to “share that with you, with a toast” but not hearing what came before

Roldo – Hey I’ll toast.

Schaun – What the hell were you guys talking about?

Drinks arrive

Amira  – (looking at Coll)  To a great night.  (All Toast)

Scene 4  -Group orders and finishes dinner, Marc goes outside to smoke a Christmas cigarette, offers to the others and Musett accepts.  They both go outside while the others are still inside.

 

Musett – Yum yum, gotta love the Christmas cigarette.  You get to be all bundled up in the cold and smoke.

Marc – I feel the same way, it’s even nicer when being a bit buzzed, all warm inside.  I suppose we are setting a bad example to all the kids that walk by, ya know, looking this cool and all.  It sends a bad message *smiling*

Musett – We should just take off our jackets so we look even tougher.  “Yeah, this cigarette is alone keeping me warm”

Marc – I wish that worked, it seems like it would.  My friends and I during undergrad went to a rock concert during Christmas break.  It was freezing cold and the closest parking spot we could get was a 20 minute walk from the theater.  We also didn’t want to have to check our jackets when we got there so we just ran in our t shirts all the way there.  BUT, we shared a cigarette between us, passing it as we ran assuming that it would keep us warm.  We soon realized that it had no effect and felt painfully cold.  We all ended up getting sick for the next month afterwards.  Haha, worth it.

Musett– You guys are idiots *smiling*… You should have burned each other with the cigarette then the adrenaline from the third degree burn would keep you warm.

Marc – Haha, I guess it would have made a nice souvenir of the night.  It was actually my first concert.  I would say it came close to my expectations.  It was kind of funny how the second they started playing all of the pot smokers lit up.  The smell was so sudden.

 

Musett – Do you smoke pot at all?

Marc – You would think that I would, but I don’t really.  It’s not really my style.  It makes it hard for me to think clearly and I lose all my energy.  Plus I would probably gain a hundred pounds if I were a pot smoker.  How about you?

Musett– I like it a lot, haha.  No, I don’t do it all that often but I like it.  I think any change of mental state, as long as it isn’t physically harmful, is fine, as long as you don’t come to depend on that mental state or consider it superior to your uninfluenced one.  I think that is the only danger.  It’s only a small part of my life.

Marc – Ahh, a careful druggy *smiling*

Musett – At your service *bowing*

Marc – I’m just kiiiiiidding *higher pitched voice*, so you said it was a small part of who you are, what is a bigger part?

Musett – I don’t know if I could say for sure, but I would say the desire for companionship.  I want someone to deeply love for the rest of my life.  I want to commit to them and make them happy and to be there for them and for them to be there for me.  I want beauty and to share it. I want a life of happiness.

Marc– Haha, damn well put.  It’s nice having someone you can depend on.  Someone who has the desire to grow and change and wants only the same of you.  And if you don’t, they are okay with that as well. So aside from pining for love *smiling*, what else comprises the “bigger section”?

Musett – I love reading a lot.  Books are like mini documentaries, they show you a new world that you’ve never seen whether imaginary or real.  It’s easy to think that the way we think is the true, rational way of thinking and of course all rational people before us have thought the same way.  It’s not true at all, haha, each generation has its own problems and paradigm.  They are just trying to figure life out the same way we are, and thankfully we have a record of their struggles in books.

Marc – We are lucky aren’t we, the brotherhood of man also goes backwards and forwards.  I feel like a part of me grows from every book I read.  It is inevitable I guess.  Heh, I wonder how many people have had a similar conversation to ours and if it has spawned any books?  Probably over a cigarette too *smiling.

Musett – I would argue that the quality and flavor of these cigarettes probably makes our conversation and insight also superior in quality and flavor to the thinkers of the past.  *smiling*

Marc – Haha, I agree.  Hell yeah…Pause…Yeah, they are pretty good. My friend from home smokes them, that’s how I heard of them.  I wish my body had a better nicotine tolerance, id smoke all day all night.  Isnt this so peaceful?

Musett – Oooh, did you feel that wind gust?  Haha, almost put my cigarette out.  Yeah, it’s strangely peaceful.  The air looks clearer in the winter, like you can see more of the world around you.

Marc – Yeah, you’re right.  The night sky looks darker, stars brighter…  Faces more beautiful

(Musett gets about an inch from Marc’s face, looks at him for a moment and they both kiss gently)  After a few moments they hug.

Musett – …Pause…

Marc –   You have nice lips *smiling*

Musett – Oh these old things….  *smiling*  So where are you from?

Marc – Wisconsin.  Ever been there?

Musett – No, nowhere near it *smiling*

Marc – It’s such a great state, there is a ton of history there.  I guess during the civil war there was a brigade that went around that people named the “Iron Brigade” from Wisconsin.  They were known to never retreat from a battle taking massive losses, but they were immovable; so courageous.  I am a total wimp but they were badasses *smiling*

Musett – I hear alcohol gives one courage, shall we? (motions to head back inside)

Marc –*offers arm*

Both head back inside to join the rest of the group

Roldo – Hey, we should play a game.

Schaun – …..Never have I ever….  Punched someone in the face.

Amira – *puts one finger down*  … it was in a student movie we were shooting, It was supposed to go over his left shoulder… but it hit him in the face. *smiles*

Schaun – Brutal, was he pissed?

 

Amira – Haha yeah, really pissed, but whatever, I am a girl, what could he do. *smiling*  Never have I ever…. Played ……Edward 40 hands.

Lucia – Oooooh. I love that game, I played in college a few times, it is really unbearable after a while.  Your hands get all sweaty and you have to pee so badly but it’s fun as hell.  You all look like idiots but you all look like idiots together.   Never have I ever…… …….. ….. been single on Christmas eve.

*Everyone keeps their fingers up a bit awkwardly, even Roldo who looks a bit uncomfortable.

Schaun – *to Roldo*  Dude, you’ve been dating Sammy for six years, we are counting from our “dating maturity life” put your damn finger down.

Roldo – ….. um….*searching for words*…  I broke up with her a few hours ago.

………….

Marc – Holy shit, dude, … are you ok?

Roldo – ……..Yeah,…. I’m sorry guys, I didn’t mean to bring this up, I just should have put my finger down. *smiling*  I am ok though, just being here tonight is so fantastic.

Schaun – Well, we’ll all do a toast to your newfound freedom.  And hey, at least Lucia is still going strong.

Lucia – *Smiling*  I’m actually single.  I just thought it would be funny to see who else was sad and pathetic like myself. Apparently everyone. *smiling*  Hey do you guys want to head out and walk around outside for a bit?

Group continues their conversation while they leave and begin walking around the park as a group.

Marc – We’re at least poor, what’s your excuse for being single.

Lucia – We’re poor as well.

Musett – Yup.

Amira – Yup.. poverty.

Roldo – Ahh, I see.  Well, Schaun, you are officially our sugar daddy.

Schaun – …Oh the irony.

Amira, Musett, Lucia – ?

Schaun – Long story short, I sang at this kids party, mother was lonely and wanted some company, boom, extra thousand bucks.

Lucia – Wait, was the party today?

Schaun – Yeah, this afternoon.

Lucia – Was it on ______ rd.

Schaun –  Yeah. 2964 _________ rd.

Lucia – did the woman have curly dark brown hair?

Schaun – …  yes….

Lucia – …. I think you banged my mom.

Schaun – Are.. you.. upset by this…. ? (awkwardly, sheepishly)

Lucia – No not really, small world though I guess.  My dad left her a few years ago.  It was probably the best time she has had in ten years.  Though you do seem to have small hands so who knows… *smiling*

Schaun – Haha, I guess we’ll just have to ask her.  She seems nice though, I hope she finds someone.

Lucia – The problem is that she can get down on herself and doesn’t try as hard as she should to find someone.  I think she could really find someone special if she believed that she was adequate for love.

Roldo – Why do you think she feels so inadequate?

Lucia – I don’t know for sure, I think she feels like she needs to be someone who is ideal, someone impossibly better that she is supposed to be and that that will solve all her problems.  She tries to emulate this person and works really hard at it, but never accomplishes it, because it doesn’t exist.  I want to shake her and tell her that there is no “best” to achieve or no “perfect” to achieve.  It is just her, the goal is to discover who she is, free from any thought concerning how others might judge her.  That is something that no one can take away and it becomes self-vindicating.  I think that this is the definition of self-love, and if you find it then you can truly connect with others and love others.  She doesn’t feel it, so she assumes the problem is that she isn’t lovable, using others as the ruler.  It is really scary, and I don’t want it for myself, but I feel it, I grew up with it and it is so hard to fight against those instincts.

Coll –  I mean, isn’t that the classic scenario?  When the philosophers constructed their systems, they weren’t trying to solve the world, or existence; they are trying to solve themselves, find out who they were and how they fit into the world around them.  Their philosophy is their life, their view and their attempt to discover it.  And these were some of the greatest of all thinkers, still struggling.

Musett – Hey bitch (to Lucia), you better know how much we love you *smiling* ….. I do this thing where I walk around, even if it is just by myself, and attempt to acknowledge my first reaction to things: my first thought, or first word, first sensation and decipher what it means, what I really think, not what I feel I am supposed to think.  Sometimes really beautiful things emerge, sometimes very ugly things.  But it is inevitably honest, and I end up having a great time doing it, though it can be frustrating sometimes. I think being honest is so scary because it always involves discovering something new about oneself.

Marc – What is your first reaction to seeing that room filled with dazzling, sparkly arcade games?

Musett – Seems interesting, but I’m definitely not as interested as you seem to be *smiling*  Let’s go over and check it out.

 

Marc – Hey guys, we’ll catch up with you later!

The group waves and says bye as Marc and Musett leave the group to go to the arcade by themselves.

Roldo – Hey Lucia, do you want to check out one of those coasters?  I heard this one was pretty cool.

Lucia – Yeah sure, sounds like fun. You guys up for it?

Coll – *to Amira* how are you feeling, I kind of feel like just walking around, I don’t know if I can handle the stress of a coaster *smiling*

Amira – Yeah, just walking sounds nice.

Roldo and Lucia leave the group to go on the roller coasters

Schaun – Hey, if they are leaving I am going to go back to the bar, I feel bad being the third wheel for you guys.

Coll – Hey man, you should keep walking with us, check out the amusement park.

Schaun – Nah, it’s ok, i’m not nearly as drunk as I had planned, I stick to my plans Coll!! *smiling*

Schaun leaves the group and Coll and Amira continue walking exploring the park

Schaun’s Monologue as he walks back to the bar, orders a drink.

*walking, cold, checking out the cute girls as they walk by, smiling at them occasionally*

Schaun – Holy shit, what is going on tonight *smiling*…  Those dudes found some special ladies.  *thinks about what kind of drink he wants at the bar *  Haha, this is totally wrong but I want a beer right now, Marc would kill me if he knew I wasn’t drinking whisky. *smiling*   *he walks admiring the white Christmas lights all around him* I wonder who will be at the bar.  So who goes to a park like this: bored teens, bored college kids back from home, families with a sense of humor. *goes up to one of the carnies, looks at the game and looks at the stuffed animals*  Hey man, could I buy that stuffed animal off of you, i’ll give you fifty bucks for it. *points at a stuffed animal of a puppy with a little Christmas hat on*

Carnie – Haha, fifty bucks?… yeah it’s all yours.  The girlfriend wanted it?

Schaun – Nah, I just like it. *smiling*  *Continues to bar with puppy under his arm* ……… Nights like this won’t last…..  I am happy, I am incurably happy, but that is only in this moment.  The next may be poisoned.  But now I breathe happiness and life and youth and myself.  I love, I want love and I give love to whoever wants it.  Life cares for no one but we can care for each other.  We are so special as a temporal people that my chest wants to burst with love.  We are special, we exist only in this moment in time, great or not, we are here, we are the now.  The world will never know us again.  Soon we won’t know us again.  Where lies the height of love, the deepest love?  It lies in those who make it of their own blood.   *sits down at the bar*

*To his right there is a beautiful girl with two of her friends, she looks a bit annoyed as her friends are talking to each other*

Schaun – *walks over next to her* Hey, i’m about to order a drink, what do you think I should order?

Hannah – *big smile comes over her face* Haha, umm, i’m not sure.  How about this, what is your favorite type of alcohol, or drink?

Schaun – Hmm.… White Russians.

Hannah – Ok.. well I love red wine, cab.  So, mix the two.

Schaun – *to bartender*  Ok, this is going to sound odd, but could I get a White Russian with a glass of cabernet mixed in with it.

Bartender – Haha, are you sure??

Schaun – Haha, no I’m not at all sure *smiling* but let’s give it a go.

Bartender – Alright.

Schaun – *to Hannah* you realize that this is going to kill me right?

Hannah – ????

Schaun – I love cab as well, you have mixed the two greatest things together into one caldron.  How can I move past this, my creative life has ended.  Beethoven has created his 9th symphony.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the world stopped rotating at this point.

Hannah – You have low standards *smiling*.. For the world to stop spinning we would have to add a sweet toasting catch phrase for the drink.  Drinks don’t stand alone my friend, it is all about the ambiance *smiling*

Schaun – Hmm, what do you think the toast should be?

Hannah – Hmm…. How about….. “What’s your name”

Schaun – ????

Hannah – “What’s your name!”… ?

Schaun – Haha, I see… Schaun, you?

Hannah – Hannah

Schaun  – Well it’s nice to meet you Hannah, ok.. lets try this out. *both toast and Schaun takes a sip* … Well… I have a feeling it will taste better the more I drink it *smiling

Hannah – It’s pretty bad?

Schaun – Nah, it’s not too bad, has a hint of berries with a final basenote of saw dust.

Hannah – Ahhh!  I love sawdust!!!  Give me a sip! *smiling*

*Schaun hands her glass, she takes a sip*

 

Hannah – Yup, that’s bad, haha, that’s very bad.

Schaun – So you guys are just hanging out here? *other two girls take no notice of Hannah and Schaun conversing*

Hannah – Yeah we didn’t have much to do, I know them from school, they wanted to come out here.

Schaun – I take it that you didn’t?

Hannah – To be honest, no, not at all, haha.  The bar scene isn’t really my thing but they love it.  I’d rather hang out at home with my friends and just chat.

Schaun – That’s fair, my roommates are pretty similar, I love the bars, you always get to meet interesting people and it’s nice to hear live music.  At bars especially it is nice, low pressure.  It’s not really a show they are putting on, they are just sharing their music with you.  One of the best shows I’ve ever seen was this bluegrass trio who were all huddled around this one mic.   The lead singer was this huge seven foot tall guy and the lead banjo player must have been five six if not less.  So with the mic in between them the little guy had to crane his neck up to sing, and the big dude had to hunch over. For some reason it was super expressive, and they were just having a blast.  I normally don’t like bluegrass, but they won me over.  Haha, the bassist was comfortable as hell just plucking away.

Hannah – Haha, well he certainly had to make up for it by having to lug around that giant instrument his whole life *smiling*…..  I don’t think I’ve ever seen live bluegrass music but live classical music can be pretty thrilling.  Part of it is just the virtuosity that most classical music involves.  You just know how much the performers have practiced and how hardened they are by their resolve to become professionals.  But even with all that practicing, the music is made fresh, right in front of you, completely new and gone in an instant.

Schaun – I know! Live music is incredible, it is breathing life, it is electrifying.  It is something you can’t see or touch, but it invades you completely, intoxicates you.

Hannah –Schaun, do you want to get super hammered with me tonight?  I don’t think I can handle those two any more sober.

 

Schaun – Haha, hell yeah, I’d love to.  That was actually my plan before I saw you.  My roommates are out walking the park with some girls we met tonight.  I was the …. 7th wheel so I decided to enjoy the night Schaun style…

Hannah – which is?

Schaun – Drunk.

Hannah – Haha, that’s a little bit sad.

Schaun – Haha, it is isn’t it?  I don’t mind, I always end up having a good time.

Hannah – Hey, no judgment here, I love me a bottle of wine or two. *smiling* So, how is the drink now? Still awful?

Schaun– Yeah, still awful, but at least I will always think of you whenever someone has either a white Russian or red wine, so it’s not so bad.

Hannah – Just make sure that you think of me with a little more makeup and my hair brushed.

Schaun – No way, you look great.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Hannah – What is your favorite feature?

 

Schaun – ?? feature?

 

Hannah – On me, what do you like the most?

Schaun – Haha, what the hell, umm, well, ……..  they all certainly work together harmoniously for the whole effect, but I like your lips, yeah your lips, they look very soft.  Alright miss self-confidence, what feature do you like most about me.

Hannah – I like your eyes, they are actually quite stunning.  Very handsome.

Schaun – *Schaun looks at Hannah for a bit, speechless and astounded, soaking her up with his eyes, breathing is a bit heaver from emotion….. glances at his near empty drink* ……………. Bartender, could I get another one of these uhh.. Red Russians?

Bartender – Sure.

Hannah– I’ll have another vodka as well please.

*bartender nods*

Hannah  – Did your family ever put up Christmas decorations on your house when you were growing up?

Schaun – No not really, we put up a tree but that was about it.

Hannah – I remember growing up near this neighbor who would put up thousands of dollars worth of decorations, probably another couple thousand in extra energy cost to light them all.  It was really incredible.  At the time it seemed so grotesque and even a bit obtrusive.  But looking back, it must have been so much fun for that family to set them up together.  Probably eggnog involved as well, haha.

Schaun – Haha, I wish I could have seen what it looked like.

Hannah – They had these giant gingerbread men, like ten of them, they would attach them to their wooden fence.

Schaun – Embarrassing for the gingerbread men.  Ok, I remember one year we put up Christmas lights.  We strung the lights across the gutters and after putting them up realized that they were blinking lights that could blink only by strand and there was no way to sync them up to blink together.  So you saw this house, with three strings of lights, all blinking independently.  It was like a scene from a horror movie when the character walks into a busted down amusement park where all the lights are flickering and disturbingly mistimed.

Hannah – Do you think, someday, that this very amusement park will be the scene of a horror film *smiling*

Schaun– Undoubtedly. This bar will probably be the scene of the final showdown between the killer carnie and the young couple trying to survive their first date.

Hannah – My guess is that they evade the killer, find a perfect hiding place, and consummate their survival.

Schaun – Hmm, there probably aren’t a lot of hiding spots in an amusement park, especially if it is in winter.

Hannah– Who said it was in winter?  *smiling*

Schaun – Oh, haha, oops.

Hannah– Well, it is set in winter, so you were correct. *smiling*  They are in love, they will find one *smiling*

Schaun – Have you ever been in love?

Hannah – Yeah, I think so, but very briefly.  Love for me had been a moment, a moment in myself where I was happy with who I was, and strong, and powerful, and I gave that love to someone who I think felt the same way.  I was in my teens and circumstances arose that I didn’t know how to deal with which caused the ending of the relationship but know now what happened and how I could have dealt with it, ultimately I don’t think it would have been a fruitful relationship, but I think I could have called it love, however brief.

Schaun – Those are certainly beautiful moments, they aren’t recognized in the moment, they almost can’t be, it would annihilate itself, negate itself.  But looking back they appear so pure and beautiful.  Mine was my first kiss and certainly all of the events leading up to it.  The excitement of it all, the first time!  I remember having a little fear in the back of my head that it wasn’t real, that she didn’t actually want to kiss me and I was terrified that she would say no, reject me.  But following through was a powerful feeling in me.  As you get older it seems less invasive, but when it is new, you are so vulnerable.

Hannah – Maybe we just hide our feeling of vulnerability better as we get older.

Schaun – It’s possible.  It’s hard to let your guard down in those scenarios, feel truly vulnerable and loving.  Wow these Red Russians are doing strange things to me, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about these things with someone.

Hannah – Haha, its good! Get it off your chest!

Schaun – So, doc, I started cutting at age twelve and just haven’t stopped, I think it may be becoming an unhealthy habit.

Hannah – I prescribe you one more drink then we go for a walk.

 

Schaun – Haha, ok, thank you, I’ll buy your drink for the advice.

Hannah – You don’t have to, but it is appreciated.

Schaun – *orders another drink for the both of them*

*Roldo and Lucia slowly snaking through the line for the roller coaster*

Lucia – So how are you holding up?

Roldo – Ahh, i’m fine, this breakup was something that had to happen eventually. I actually feel relieved by it.  I constantly have to fight against a feeling of…. complacency.  It is easy to reassure yourself that things aren’t that bad when in actuality they are subtly ….poisonous.

Lucia – What do you mean by subtly poisonous?

Roldo – Umm, that deeper insecurities and inadequacies are actually what are at play, a calm point in the relationship somehow vindicates the bad, that the bad was a “fluke” or something that we needed to get over, one gets a false sense of growth, even though the fighting tends to predominate.  The mind forgets the pain out of a desire for love and comfort.  

Lucia– Do you love yourself?

Roldo – Haha, god damnit, no, no way  haha.  It’s funny because I try to, and I think and use reason but somehow my towering faults seem to vindicate my lack of self-love.

Lucia – You don’t know yourself

Roldo – I …

Lucia – You think you do, but you don’t.  Let it evolve, let yourself evolve, let it blossom as it needs to.  You don’t know yourself.

Roldo – I… Lucia, so how has your night been so far?  Have you been having a good time?  I know we’ve interrupted you from your traditional pond moment *smiling*

Lucia – Haha, yeah, it’s been a great night.  You guys have been really fun to hang out with.  I like how you all value creativity and newness.  I know your relationship was dysfunctional but a breakup is still never easy and I feel bad, I want you to be happy.   I… I…..*Lucia hugs Roldo*  I understand you Roldo.  You are honest about the way you feel.  You don’t know how attractive you are.

Roldo – Do you really think so?

Lucia – Try to kiss me.  If I let you, then I am being honest, if not well…

Roldo – *Gets close to Lucia,  leans in and kisses her.  Lucia kisses him more passionately* *They both hear an AHEM coming from behind Roldo, the line has moved and they are holding it up*  Ahh, sorry.

Old Woman – No problem. *Smirking a little*

Roldo  – Shall we?

Lucia – After you. *smiling* *they walk further down to continue the line*…….. So what’s the deal with you guys?  I know you are all pursuing your art.  What is it like?

Roldo – ……….We are struggling.  The true breathing life of the bohemian is an essential struggle; whatever weird art they are pursuing for whatever reason, and earning a satisfying living.   But he is lonely, and his art may mean something he doesn’t want it to mean.  A replacement for real living.  Perhaps it has the qualities of an artistic journal, but it isn’t real, it is imaginary, which is great, romantic and powerful.  But it isn’t flesh and blood.

Lucia – Are you lonely?

Roldo – I think our time as bohemians has to come to an end.  I haven’t experienced a night like this in years, you are my angel, you stir my blood.  Am I lonely?  This night has killed my loneliness.  You are so beautiful Lucia…………………….  Marc, Coll and Schaun, all of us, Schaun probably wouldn’t admit it, are looking to love someone.  We want connection with someone who we can share ourselves with, share our lives, grow and hurt together.  Explore the beauty of life that only lovers can appreciate.

Lucia – Roldo……..  that’s a nice pick up line, but I’ve caught you! *smiling*  You probably say that to every girl you meet *joking*

Roldo – Haha, well how was my delivery?  Did it seem authentic, as if I was saying it for the first time?

Lucia – Yeah, it was pretty good, I was convinced, hey, looks like we are holding up the line again.

Roldo – *smiling*

*They both move forward*

*Both hug, holding each other tightly*

*Coll and Amira walking*

Coll – What was your favorite Christmas?

Amira – Hmm.  I think my favorite Christmas was a few years ago when my friend and I actually stayed away from our families, haha.  We got really drunk Christmas morning… then for dinner we went out to a Japanese restaurant and got hot pot.  I had the opportunity to go home but my friend couldn’t afford it.  I also didn’t want to go haha.  So we just had a great time, saw some live music that night.  The band was pretty good.  A comedian opened for them and he got heckled hard.  Haha, that’s the Christmas spirit eh.

Coll – Haha, assholes.  Man, what a fantastic time we live in.  So much is available to us at any time.  Now, I can concede that the Japanese restaurant probably isn’t purely authentic, but the style is there.  There is so much for the modern man to experience and consume.  Various sections of life for us to sample.  If I create something I can share it instantly, the brotherhood of man is, in a way, coming true through technology and the ease of sharing.  We are truly the greatest generation not only because of the beauty and quality of what we have created, but we were the first to experience it.  We mold it and are molding our times.  What generation could get wasted in the morning, go to a Japanese restaurant that night, watch a professional comedian and a live band in a bar within driving distance.  It is really amazing.

Amira – I agree, though my fear is that we are missing something on the opposite end.  We have so much entertainment in front of us that our lives could get washed away by it, unknowingly.

Coll – What would you do if you could live forever?

Amira – Take lots and lots of heroin.

Coll – haha,

Amira– Seriously though, there would be no point in developing myself, there would be no tension on the rope, no fear of being pulled.

Coll – What would you do if you had one month to live.

Amira– I’m not sure. It would be so tough to come to grips with.  I’d probably do some messed up things haha.

Coll – Life is really put into perspective with that very question isn’t it?  It seems so simple and obvious but I think it is love that rises to the top of desires.  Happiness.  I can’t imagine a grudge deep enough that would trump a desire for happiness, a power above any resentment…

Amira – The end of my life isn’t really on my mind right now though.  Some roasted nuts are though..

Coll – Haha, uhh.

Amira– …  Hey Bozo… roasted nuts *points to a roasted nut stand*

Coll – I haven’t had those in years.

Amira– I promise they are just as good as when you had them last.

Coll – Hey, do you maybe want to take off?  I kind of want to head home, I’d love for you to join me.

Amira– Sure. I’d like that.

*They share a package and continue for their walk*

 

Fin

 

Act 1 Scene 1 – Marc + Roldo frustrated with a lack of creative spirit.

Marc – Hey bud, what are you working on?

Roldo – Ahh, nothing much.  I’m just writing some free verse, hoping to get some decent material going but it hasn’t been working out too well.

Marc – Fuck man, i’m kind of in the same boat.  I’m sick of drawing this fucking pond and all the goddamn trees.  Im kinda missing the city…

Roldo – Ahh, I hear ya.  Have you tried drawing some animals or something?  You can draw me nude, I’ve been working out and I’m getting fucking jacked.

Marc – Thanks for the suggestion ass.  I don’t know, I feel like I’m just copying all the other assholes before me drawing nature and shit.  Wow i’m really saying a lot, “Look at the beautiful moonlit pond with the windy trees flowing yonder” Fucking stupid.

Roldo – Hey, HEY… Can I use that!?!?!

Marc – Oh my god, you are an ass.

Roldo – Haha, sorry man.  No, don’t worry about it.  I know what you mean, kinda feels sterile out here eh.  There is nothing to really fire up the instincts.  I mean, really we’re nothing but our instincts and reactions to the world around us.  But .. maybe removing those stimuli is important, you get to see your own opinions uninfluenced by other people.  Van Gogh learned about himself through every painting he created.  I like skies… I like stars… I like…….  Clogs.

Marc – Ahh fuck, I know I know.  But maybe my depths have been plumbed and i’m really just boring as fuck.

Roldo – Well you definitely are boring me, *smiles*.  Hey, i’m going to go out for a walk, clear my head a bit.

Marc – Ahh yeah, aight man, I’ll see you in a bit.

Roldo – See yuh.

Scene 2 – Shaun’s Story plus offer to take everyone to amusement park

-Outside of Cabin

(Schaun runs into Roldo heading out for a walk)

Schaun – Hey dude, where you going?

Roldo – Just out for a walk.

Schaun – Well hey, don’t go too far, we are going to Momus tonight.

Roldo – I’m sorry man, I’d love to go but I can’t afford it.

Schaun – Yes you can, I made an extra thousand bucks tonight, I’m taking us out.

Roldo – What the hell?  You sure man?

 

Schaun – Look at this face.  Look at this face..  This face…. THIS face… would not lie.

Roldo – haha, alright dude, I’ll see you when I get back.

Schaun – Later.

Schaun Enters cabin

Marc – Sup dude,

Schaun – Sup,

Coll – Hey (Coll comes out of room to hang out with everyone)

Marc – Schaun, you seem pretty happy.

Schaun – Fuck yeah im happy, good call by the way.  Yeah man, I just came back from a gig singing at this dipshit’s “rehearsal” middle school graduation party.  What the hell, middle school graduation….  Fucking stupid… anyway…. So I finish singing some Justin Beiber bullshit and the mom, hot as fuck by the way, comes up fucking beaming and says that I’ve done such an amazing job.  I’m like, “well, it’s really the quality of music that makes the voice soar”  The idiot ate that shit up.  We talked about how great this middle school was and how so many “graduates” end up going to college…. Moron. Anyways, she invited me into the house to give me the check.  I finished my beer and followed her in.  You ready for this shit?  She hands me the check, then just starts kissing me man.

Marc – what the fuck?

Schaun – yeah, she was nuts about it.  Moaning and shit.  But dude this is the best part. So, I told her that I didn’t have a condom so I couldn’t do anything.  She says that she knows where her daughter keeps her condoms and goes and gets one.  HAHA, What the hell!  That shit is messed up man.

Marc –  so.

Schaun – It was pretty sweet man.  Older women know what the fuck they are doing.

Marc – Gross dude.

Schaun – whatever man.  I had a good time, AAAANND.  She gave me a thousand fucking dollars extra.  HAHA, isn’t that awesome?!

Marc – damn, that’s nuts. A thousand dollars?

Schaun – Yup. So, I was thinking, we haven’t been to Momus in a damn long time.  The night on me?

Marc – haha, cool man, yeah let’s do it.  Thanks so much, sorry about saying your…  was gross.

Schaun –  nah man it’s cool.  No offense taken.  Actually, she was telling me how one of her daughters just graduated from Lincoln and will be in town for a while.  We should try to hit her up.

Marc – haha, fuck yeah, cool.  That’s some fucked up shit, haha.

Schaun – Yo dude (to Coll), maybe we should invite the 14 year old so you can bang her.

Coll  – Hmm, I’ll pass on that one.

Schaun – Whatever, Fag. *smiling*

Coll – Anyways, I’m going for a walk, I’ll be back in an hour or so.

Schaun –  Aight man, I’ll see you in a  bit.

Coll – See ya.

Marc – See ya.

Scene 3 – Coll’s Monologue (shy and lonely)

Coll walking on a path next to the lake.

Coll – In my last moment of living, what would I have to hold onto?  I have felt love, I know what it looks like face to face.  It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life though it has not defined it.  I am proud to have felt it, and I feel partly redeemed by it.  It’s troubling that the rest seems to be emptiness.  I just haven’t had fun in life.  Perhaps I feel that I don’t deserve it, that I am too flawed to be allowed to indulge in it.  In my last moment of living I want the image of myself to be someone defined by an instinct of joy, an instinct of love.  But I want it to be my joy and my love, unique to me.  I just don’t know myself well enough and I think that I have been too afraid to find out.

Scene 4 – Rondo’s Monologue meets Lucia.  (Grave misgivings about girl he is dating, feels stifled, she has become controlling)

Roldo – Ahh fuck, It’s all so beautiful but it just feels pointless.  Man has been explored, what is there left to say? I feel boring, do I write a play with a main character gripped with the same fear?  Or will that come through inherently in whatever I write.  Also, in the end, what’s the point if I’ve already recognized that I’m boring.  Why create the abstraction in the first place?  …..  Maybe it would reveal something deeper behind the loneliness that I just can’t see yet.  Ahh fuck me. Haha……. Ahh, it sure is beautiful out here. That’s for sure.  I hate to admit it but it’s nice to be away from Sammy for a while.  Ahh I shouldn’t say that…  How did I get into this mess?  I can’t leave her, I’ve known her for too long and she knows me well.  I worry that I am nothing but a warm body to her to keep her company and she knowing that I am too boring to ever expect anything better…….  I want to hold a woman in my arms who loves me.  It’s been six years and I still don’t feel that.  It’s okay, everything will be okay.

Lucia drives by

Lucia – Hey, seems kinda late for a walk.

Roldo –  Ahh yeah, just clearing my head.

Lucia – Oh, well clear away, I won’t disturb you.

Roldo – Haha, it’s alright.  I’m Roldo by the way.

Lucia-  I’m Lucia. I live down the road, I was just driving up to see the lake.  It is so beautiful in the winter isn’t it?

Roldo – It’s so beautiful but why aren’t you with your family?! It’s Christmas eve, haha.  Instead you bombard lone strangers on an emo walk down the corridors of thought.

Lucia – I guess I am just in a harassing mood.  But regarding your first question, fuck my family.  They are fuuuucked up.  I guess they just had some goofy “rehearsal” graduation party.  Want to know what I was doing during that?  Hooking of course, idiot.  Haha, Umm, no, I tend to steer clear of them nowadays.

Roldo – Ahh, I see, well, I’m out here with three other dudes from college.  We decided to move away from the city and just try to really devote ourselves to being creative.

Lucia – Fair enough.  Sounds like an interesting dynamic.

Roldo – Haha, interesting is a good word for it.  Well hey, we actually live in a cabin on the lake, no not my cheesy idea, if you were heading there, you are welcome to hang out with us, though I’m not sure that we are doing anything particularly interesting tonight.  I think we were going to go to Momus or something.  But we’ll probably just end up getting wasted on wine and loneliness. Haha.

Lucia – I love lonliness! But i’ll pass on the wine. *smiling*  Umm, yeah, ya know that does sound cool.  How about I give you a ride back and you can show me where the cabin is?

Roldo – Sounds good to me.  It’s getting kinda cold out here anyway.

Lucia – Oh is it?  I didn’t know, it’s so cozy in here *smiling*

Roldo – (gets in car) So, it is basically down the road a bit…… Pause……  So why this lake on Christmas eve?

Lucia – pause….  Do you think the world wants us here?

Roldo – ?? ..I don’t know.

Lucia – I don’t think it does, otherwise why would it be so deathly cold, so uninhabitable in so many ways?  It is man who imposes itself on the world, challenging its dominance.  We’ve created coats if we want to go outside when it is cold, houses for larger living spaces.  We have fire to keep these houses warm.  These houses have expanded to restaurants, bars, hotels, etc.  We live in this age of artificial warmth and take it for granted…  But it’s not the artificial warmth that we take for granted, but our warmth; the heat that generated it in the first place.  I like to come out here and feel the blood flowing through my veins next to a frozen lake, next to snow, next to a landscape quieted by the cold.  It makes me appreciate what I have and certainly the importance of it all.

Roldo – Well, Ms. Ice Queen, you sure do have it nice and cozy in this car.  I’ve been walking for the past half hour in the cold and I am already sweating in here.

Lucia – Shut up *smiling*  Going out to the lake is symbolic!! *smiling*

Roldo – Haha, no I understand.  Reminds me of Thoreau who wanted to live independently at Walden Pond, but supposedly he went to the city all the time for groceries and laundry.  I appreciate the desire, and it’s not fair to make him gather all the skills necessary to be perfectly self-sufficient.  It’s not really what he was trying to get after.

 

Lucia –  Do you like Thoreau?

Roldo – Yeah, I like.. well.. used to like Thoreau. Pause..  I think the reason that I liked Walden Pond was because at the time I was really searching for a sense of self or even a sense of what I wanted, what life was.  I really related to his desire to discover who he really was and what life was all about.  It really helped me a lot actually. I tend to like books that explore a new side of thought.  I guess you could say anything exotic, even if it is an exotic morality issue or exotic human mentality.  It was eye opening to look at literature and art as essentially projections, not contrivances.  They are thought.  They are human, the human instinct given voice.  I guess in Thoreau’s case it was an instinct of self-discovery. But now i’d just rather be involved.

Lucia – Cool, well put.  I suppose I feel the same way about music.  Some bands can really transport you to a different mentality or view.  I just like the idea of transportation in music, to a new world or environment.  You can feel the musician’s experience and soul.

Roldo – Do you play any instruments?

Lucia – Haha, well, guitar but every asshole plays guitar.  I just like to write little tunes for myself, they aren’t anything special but they are at least personal and honest.

 

Roldo – Great! You will have to play one for me sometime.

Lucia – Haha, ok, I’ll try to think of some of my classic hits to play for you.

Roldo – Long career?

Lucia – Cut short by being just too awesome.

Roldo – So take a left here and here we are.

Lucia – Wow, you are right on the lake, it’s so beautiful.

Roldo – After you. (opens door for Lucia)

Scene 5 – Roldo, Lucia, Schaun +Marc at house, Coll still on a walk.(Schaun’s advice)

Schaun – Fuck, when is Roldo getting back.  I have to tell that fucker about my banging adventure.

Marc – He just wanted to clear his head, I think he feels like he is stuck, no inspiration.

Schaun – What the fuck, inspiration? Just do whatever the fuck you want, that’s inspiration.

Marc– It’s not always that easy.

Schaun – …

Marc – Dude it’s not.  Sometimes what we want is hidden from us, and it can be difficult to figure it out.

Schaun – …

Marc – Dude, it’s hard if you want to actually be original.

Schaun – Maybe wanting to be original is the problem.  Just be yourself haha.  If you are just like everyone else, then just accept it and move on.  Liz cheated on you and you moved on. Same thing.  You just retain yourself, empower yourself.

Marc – That’s good advice but I loved Liz and I think that I was, for the most part, myself.  Yet she found someone better.  Who I am was inferior to the man she left me for.  How can I possibly come to grips with that?  My only choice is to pursue originality, something higher.

Schaun – Marc, you are confusing who she was at the time, who she saw you as, and who you know yourself to be.  I can say this now, but I’ve known you both for a while now, she never really knew who you were.  I don’t think she had the kind of spirit that wanted to find out.  I think that she was too much wrapped up in herself that she couldn’t care.  She rejected a “non you”.  You can’t let this lower your self-esteem.  Explore what you like and dislike, hey you found out that you don’t like girls that cheat on you.  Boom, self-knowledge.

Marc – Fair enough.  It’s just hard to feel adequate when you feel so different from others.

*The group enters*

Schaun – You are an artist.  Fuck the world.

Marc – (to Roldo) Hey man how was your walk?

Scene 6 All return to house, Coll last, and discuss plans, meet each other.  Roldo breaks up with his girlfriend

Roldo – It was good.  This is Lucia (Lucia waves), she was driving to see the lake and offered to give me a ride back to the cabin.  (to Lucia) did you still want to come with us to Momus?

Lucia – (Looks at Schaun and Marc).. no, not anymore, not handsome enough. *smiles*

Marc – Haha, damn.

Schaun– Typical woman, completely irrational. *jokingly*

Lucia – You’re right, (pointing to Marc) He definitely is handsome enough.

Marc – Haha.

Schaun – God damnit. *smiling*

Roldo – Well hey, Merry Christmas eve I guess.  I had stashed away a few bottles of wine for tonight, I’m going to grab them, be right back. (goes to his room)

Lucia – Yum yum yum.  Love wine.

Schaun – Yeah, it’s alright.

Lucia –Best drunk, hands down.

Marc – Haha, yeah, and vodka.  Anything else makes me feel uncomfortably full or sleepy.

Lucia – But for color alone you have to go with scotch.

Marc – Hell yeah, slam a few glasses of scotch, won’t even need a coat to go outside.

Lucia – mmm.  So what do you guys do around here?

Marc – We work, we work a lot.  We have a rule that we can only consume outside culture for one hour a day.  For the rest of the time, we create.  We work on our projects.

Schaun – I make money.

Marc – Well, Schaun is definitely the most proactive in that regard.

Schaun – Yeah, well, it’s all I really can do, music is a living art and there is a good demand for teachers and performers.  I of course…. do both. *bows with hand gesture*

In Roldo’s Room

(Roldo hears Schaun say, “I of course …. Do both”) gets a phone call from Sammy.

Roldo – “Hey, how are you?”

Sammy – “I’m not doing well *snarling*, why didn’t you call?”

Roldo – “Ahh, sorry about that, I was about to call.  I went on a walk to clear my head and forgot.”

Sammy – “Wow, well that’s good to hear that an exciting and stimulating WALK makes you forget about me.”

Roldo – “I didn’t mean to forget, I just did.  I’ve been having a tough few days and…”

Sammy – “NO, you meant to not remember.  You placed a priority on yourself and not on us.  I was sitting here, wasting my time waiting for you to call.  It’s really unacceptable.”

Roldo – “You can’t take offense to things like this.  I didn’t mean anything by it, it was a simple mistake and I didn’t mean to make you wait”

 

Sammy – “Don’t go acting like you didn’t mean it.  It hurts me a lot that you don’t care about me.  It is actually abusive.”

Roldo – “Wait what?  Why would you say that, I’ve always been there for you.  I helped you find your apartment for school, I was there for you when your friend was killed by a drunk driver, I’ve been there for you for 6 years, what the hell.”

Sammy – “You don’t care about my feelings at all, you only care about yourself.  You are so selfish with everything.  Clearly your father never taught you how to be a good man.”

Roldo – “pause…….Sammy…… this is over…  I am not happy with you as my girlfriend.  You are no longer my girlfriend.”

Sammy – “What? No baby, we can work this out, I was just in a bad mood.  Why are you saying this??”

Roldo – “I am sorry, this relationship has made me genuinely unhappy, and I want it ended.”

Sammy – “Who are you with, who have you been with?”

Roldo – “I have always been faithful to you Sammy.  I no longer want you in my life”

Sammy – “What did I do?  Tell me what I did wrong?”

Roldo – “Goodbye Sammy.  Don’t bother calling, I won’t answer your calls.” (hangs up phone)

In the living room

Lucia – Marc, what is your craft?  May I call it a craft?

Marc – I actually prefer “art of the gods” if I may. *smiling* Actually, I paint, draw, stencil art, etc.

Lucia – What are you working on now?

Marc – It’s actually a night painting of where I used to stand outside and smoke with Roldo.  We both quit but it brings back good memories.  I like the drama of the area at night, it adds to the stillness of the experience.  I have the pillar with a burning cigarette sitting… (Roldo walks in with the wine… to Roldo) Hey man, you remember smoking outside on the porch when the fall came around?

Roldo – Haha, yeah.  Best time to smoke… *smiles*  Here is the wine I got. (A takes the wine opener from Roldo and begins opening a bottle, Schaun goes into the kitchen to get some glasses, comes back with them)

Roldo – So how long has it been since we’ve been to Momus?

Marc – Since we moved in, so a year and a half?

Roldo – Yeah that sounds about right.

Schaun – I hear it is cool on Christmas eve, they do a bunch of decorations and everyone comes out to see it.

Lucia – I honestly haven’t been there on Christmas eve since I was a little girl.

Roldo – Also, if you want to invite some friends, you are more than welcome, I imagine it is pretty awkward for you with all of us.

Lucia – Not at all, but yeah, i’ve got a few friends here back from school who would be down to hang out.

Marc – Hey, very cool.  You guys will have to show us around.

Lucia – Gals.

Schaun – Hey, why isn’t Coll back, man that dude takes long walks.

Roldo – He is a philosopher, what else would you expect.

Lucia – Woah, philosopher?  Sounds like an intense fellow.

Schaun – Yeah that’s fair.

Marc – Well hey, let’s pour him a glass and toast when he gets here.

Roldo – Sounds good, (Coll opening door) …woah no way.

Coll – Hey guys.

Roldo – We were just wondering when you would get back, good timing man.

Coll – Cool, … wine?

Marc – Got a glass for you right here buddy.

Lucia – Do you guys have like some bohemian toast you always make? *smiling*… pause…

Schaun –Nah

*All clink glasses  

Act 2 Amusement park

Scene 1 – Group enters setting scene of excitement.  Festive atmosphere, Christmas eve, thrill of love in the air. The sun has set far into the sky making it purple with a sliver of bright orange on the horizon.

Schaun – (to Marc) Dude, so how many roller coasters do you want to try to go on?

Marc – We should try to get to all of them, front row of course.

Schaun – Hell yeah. I am going to be so drunk on these coasters, I hope I puke on someone mid ride.

Coll – You should eat a salad at dinner so your vomit will be red from the wine and green from the salad, “Christmas Puke”.

Lucia – Haha, gross.

Roldo – (comes back with five maps of the amusement park)  There is a bar over here and it looks like they have food too. *in a cinematic voice*  ..according to the Legend (pointing at the legend on the map)..

Lucia – …

Roldo – What?? *smiling*

Lucia – Good one. *smiling*

Roldo – I enjoyed it. *smirking*

Schaun – Yeah, let’s go there.  There’s no way I am going to be sober tonight.

Lucia – Ok, sounds good, I’ll call my friends now and tell them to meet us there.

Coll – (to Marc, both are a bit separated from the group)  Do you remember riding on those things (points to a merry-go-round)

Marc – Yeah, definitely,

Coll – I remember riding one when I was a kid and thinking that I was riding something archaic in a way.  That I was supposed to be having so much fun but really wasn’t.  Like when a kid hurts himself and only cries because all of the adults around seem to expect him to.  I just don’t think I bought into it the way the adults wanted me to.  I rode it again to test it hoping that volume of rides would somehow make up for the lack of exciting quality but they never did.  I wonder if other kids felt the same thing or if it was just me.  Do kids now enjoy it the way they are “supposed to”?

Marc – I honestly don’t really remember them much actually so I guess I can’t give a good answer.  I imagine that that is just a part of the gap between parent and child.  There is a parent trying to give a kid an ideal that they have created through adulthood, and a kid just learning about the world for the first time, weighing his own opinions against that of others.  He is told the merry go round is fun, but feels the opposite.  I do however remember those things that spun around that you had to push to get going.  Those were fun, also swings!  I remember going on swings even into high school… randomly of course.  ..Pause..  Dude, do you ever think about what your former self would have thought of you now?

Coll – In a way, I’ve thought about what I would have wanted myself to have become.  Would I like who I am now?  Honestly.. yes and no.  There are parts I would be glad to see have changed and parts that are still frustratingly immovable.  But honestly there is no comparison, I can honestly say that my life has been redeemed these past few years.  Whatever my issues are, I can forever, in a certain way, be ultimately happy.

Marc – I’m glad you feel that way!  I think that I would have been happy about what we have decided to pursue.  And I love you guys *smiling*

Coll – I agree.  pause…  What do you think, Irish Whisky or Scotch.

Marc – Dude, unfair, both are so good……..  Irish Whisky, we are young, definitely Irish Whisky.

Schaun – Hey Roldo, (pointing at a bar) is that it?

Roldo – Yeah, I think so.

Lucia – My friends said that they are already there.

Roldo – Cool.

Scene 2 – Food and drinks, meet Lucia’s friends.  Amira and Musett. (all at bar)

Group walks into the bar.  Lucia points to a back booth where two girls are sitting opposite each other.  Lucia acknowledges them and introduces the guys.  The two girls move to the same side, and the guys join them.  Schaun sits on a chair at the end of the table.  Roldo on the end facing Lucia.  Marc in the middle facing Musett and Coll on the inside end facing Amira.

Marc – So how do you guys know each other?

Musett – We actually all just went to highschool together.  I guess we’ve known each other for.. what.. 10 years now?

Marc – Wow, that’s pretty cool.  It’s sad to say but I think I have one friend that I’ve kept from my high school days.  I remember walking to his place after the last day of middle school and just playing video games and eating pizza.  It was so much fun, seems almost idyllic now.  Whenever I visit him back home now, we do the exact same thing haha.

Lucia – (to girls) Should I tell them about our tradition?

Musett – Haha, sure.

Lucia – We get hammered, walk around the town just looking at stuff and try to remember as much as we can of our high school days together.  It’s funny the things you end up remembering.  I remember how we would go to the movies and stuff as many cans of soda as we could into our purses and jackets, like seven to ten each.  Then only drink one or two when we were actually in the theater.  We would try to cough whenever we opened a can but it would always end up being *Cough* pause *Psss*  … So after walking around drunk we would go back to one of our places and watch one of our favorite movies growing up.

 

Marc – Haha, so what movie is it this time around?

Musett – I’m not sure, we haven’t decided yet.  I guess that was going to be tonight’s plan but you a-holes messed it up *smiling*

Marc – Sorry!  We didn’t knooow!!

Musett – Your penance shall be to buy me a drink.  So how did this happen, how did you guys meet Lucia?

Schaun – Emo-dick over here wanted to take a walk and I guess ran into Lucia.

Lucia – Haha, Roldo, you looked so focused when I saw you, I just had to see if you were alright if anything.

Roldo –  You surprised the hell out of me when you started talking to me.  Every horror film I’d ever seen ran through my mind all at once.  I’m glad you stopped though, we’d be having a boring ass night right now otherwise.

Musett – Circle Jerk?

Marc – Haha what the fuck *smiling, I hope not.  Probably just get drunk and make up dirty Christmas songs.

Schaun – “Dashing through the blow, it’s the true way to get laid, condomless we go, laughing all the…”  Ahh, I can’t think of anything else.

Musett – Yup, good thing you found us *smiling*

Roldo – Haha, oooooh.

Schaun – Whatever, these are gems..

Marc – I love how you all managed to get away from your families.  I mean, I would probably have tried to avoid mine as well but they are half way across the country so at least it is an easy explanation.  But I would feel guilty.  Tell us why you don’t feel guilty *smiling*

Musett – I guess there are different kinds of families, and sometimes it is important to start new ones.

Scene 3 – Coll and Amira are a bit more introverted, but start talking to each other while the others talk.  They are still at the table.

Coll – …

 

Amira – …

Coll – So, it looks like we won’t be going to the bathroom for a while (looking over at the other people blocking their path out of the booth)

Amira – Haha, right.  It’s ok, alcohol makes you not want to pee right? .. Oh shit..

Coll – Well hey, at least we get this cool lamp to play with…  and we get first dibs on the salt and pepper.  Eh?

Amira – But I was going to order a salad..  Shit.

Coll – No you weren’t, no one orders a salad on Christmas Eve. *smiling*

Amira – Haha, yeah you got me.  I haven’t even thought about what I want.  I normally choose the thing on the menu that either I’ve never heard of or is hardest to pronounce.

Coll – Interesting philosophy.  I guess you get to try new things all the time.  Probably have a field day in the slavic countries.

Amira –That’s a good idea.  Or maybe I could ask if this place has a menu written in Czech and make my decision from there.

Coll – Poor waitress if they did have one in Czech.  Memorizing a menu is bad enough, memorizing one in Czech PLUS perfect pronunciation.  I guess my tip is going to have to go up now.  Damn you.

Amira – Haha.  I’ll chip in, how about that?  Have you ever been to Europe?

Coll – No, just a bunch of the states in the US but that’s about it.  Furthest west has been Phoenix and East… New York.  South…. San Antonio.  This may sound blasphemous coming from a supposed bohemian, but I feel almost no drive to see Europe or other countries.  I feel like it should interest me but it doesn’t really.  Is our generation numbed to culture shock, maybe it’s just me.  I’d rather just read.

Amira – I wouldn’t say that I am the opposite but I think traveling could be exciting.  I am actually going to Germany after new years.  It would be my first time out of the country.  I don’t think I am excited because I expect culture shock but I think it would be cool to see what the art culture is like there.  It would be cool to meet like-minded artists who may perceive style in a completely different way, maybe the exact same way.  It’s the not-knowing that makes it exciting.

Coll – I love your intrepid attitude.  Now that I think of it, I think that I would only like to travel places because I could be in the same place that a great man from the past has worked.  I would go to the school that Kant taught in Germany where Nietzsche wrote, or where Wagner composed; to feel the possibilities of human existence within the randomness of time and circumstance.

Amira – That sounds really cool.  How about this, I’ll find some live music, play a German pinball machine, slip and fall on a cobblestone knowing that people have probably done the same many times before me. *smiling

Coll – So what are you doing in Germany?

Amira – Just some work.  I am lucky to have the job.

Coll – Do you think you will stay there for good or come back to the states?

Amira – I’m not sure.  I guess it depends on a lot of things.

Coll – Ahh, I understand.  It’s nice to know that you have options. None of us have wives or kids so we have a lot of freedom.  We certainly couldn’t be doing what we are doing if we had kids running around to take care of.  It is great how little it costs to live if you aren’t extravagant.

Amira – Well, I am glad that I am not in Germany yet, I like talking to you.

Coll – Same.  It is just funny what I would be doing otherwise right now.  I would probably be just reading some semi-interesting book but secretly pining for meaningful interaction.

Amira – Well, have you found any?

Coll – Haha, yeah I think so.  I like talking to you too, plus you look kinda good in that lamp light *smiling*

Amira – *a bit bashful* Thanks, that’s nice of you to say, I think you are a handsome guy as well.

Coll – Well you know, it’s the calorie restricted diet of a bohemian, keeps me fit *smiling*

Amira – I said handsome, not fit, you could use a little work on your hip flexors. *smiling*

Coll – Say what you want about my body but there is no way you can criticize my hip flexors, they were molded by the gods themselves.

Amira – Nice, well, they must have been starting it out as a hobby, unskilled clearly.

Coll – ……. Have you ever heard about this documentary about the creators of indie games?

Amira – No, I don’t think so.

Coll – There is this one guy who is clearly brilliant but maybe a bit messed up in the head, he was creating the levels all by himself, and he found that the later levels were much more artistic and detailed than the first ones he designed, basically because he had gotten really good with the designing program over time.  The poor guy had to go back and redo all of the early levels to make them match the later ones.  Shit, i’d go crazy if I had to do that, or felt compelled to do that.

Amira – Yeah that must be brutal.  Just knowing that he put so much effort into those early stages, and it was probably even more challenging because he was getting used to it.  I would be devastated to scrap those levels.  If I write a little poem for myself, most of the time it doesn’t take much time and it isn’t that big of a deal to discard.  But I do remember the first poems I wrote, they took so much time to figure out.  I just wasn’t skilled at writing in meter or even thinking in condensed poetic terms.  Not that I am a great poet now, probably the level of a schizophrenic hobo.  Yeah, that’s about right *smiling*

Coll – Haha, schizophrenic hobo, poor guy.  Well at least he is expressing himself.  A lot of sane people don’t end up doing that.  I wonder if there is a sane schizophrenic, that sounds odd, but a schizophrenic that is adjusted, recognizes that he is different, embraces his originality and feels no guilt, no shame.  He finds strength in his affliction.  But I suppose most are paranoid and afraid, unable to deal with what surrounds them or to make sense of it.

Amira – I really don’t know, who knows.  It would be a great search though, I wonder what he would be like.  Being different, what a horrible and blessed thing.

Coll – I agree.  It’s interesting seeing the shift in thought of the philosophers of the past.  There are times where the “solution” is sought.  The “System” is the great explanation of all things, complete, finite.  Then philosophers came along saying that individuality breaks all knowledge.  Individuality is intimate knowing, it is creating.  One cannot create within a static system.  If we acknowledge that there is the possibility of creating, then no system can exist.  Life constantly breathes and dies according to those who live it.

Amira – Hey, do you want anything to drink? I was going to order a vodka.  My treat.

Coll – Haha, you don’t have to buy me anything.

Amira– I really want to.  What do you want?

Coll – Irish Whisky, definitely Irish Whisky.  Neat please.  *said more formally*

 

Amira – You got it.  (orders drink)

Coll – You seem very determined.

Amira– I feel like I want a toast with you.  I like how passionate you are about thinking and what life means to you.  I want to share that with you, with a toast!

The others cue in to “share that with you, with a toast” but not hearing what came before

Roldo – Hey I’ll toast.

Schaun – What the hell were you guys talking about?

Drinks arrive

Amira  – (looking at Coll)  To a great night.  (All Toast)

Scene 4  -Group orders and finishes dinner, Marc goes outside to smoke a Christmas cigarette, offers to the others and Musett accepts.  They both go outside while the others are still inside.

 

Musett – Yum yum, gotta love the Christmas cigarette.  You get to be all bundled up in the cold and smoke.

Marc – I feel the same way, it’s even nicer when being a bit buzzed, all warm inside.  I suppose we are setting a bad example to all the kids that walk by, ya know, looking this cool and all.  It sends a bad message *smiling*

Musett – We should just take off our jackets so we look even tougher.  “Yeah, this cigarette is alone keeping me warm”

Marc – I wish that worked, it seems like it would.  My friends and I during undergrad went to a rock concert during Christmas break.  It was freezing cold and the closest parking spot we could get was a 20 minute walk from the theater.  We also didn’t want to have to check our jackets when we got there so we just ran in our t shirts all the way there.  BUT, we shared a cigarette between us, passing it as we ran assuming that it would keep us warm.  We soon realized that it had no effect and felt painfully cold.  We all ended up getting sick for the next month afterwards.  Haha, worth it.

Musett– You guys are idiots *smiling*… You should have burned each other with the cigarette then the adrenaline from the third degree burn would keep you warm.

Marc – Haha, I guess it would have made a nice souvenir of the night.  It was actually my first concert.  I would say it came close to my expectations.  It was kind of funny how the second they started playing all of the pot smokers lit up.  The smell was so sudden.

 

Musett – Do you smoke pot at all?

Marc – You would think that I would, but I don’t really.  It’s not really my style.  It makes it hard for me to think clearly and I lose all my energy.  Plus I would probably gain a hundred pounds if I were a pot smoker.  How about you?

Musett– I like it a lot, haha.  No, I don’t do it all that often but I like it.  I think any change of mental state, as long as it isn’t physically harmful, is fine, as long as you don’t come to depend on that mental state or consider it superior to your uninfluenced one.  I think that is the only danger.  It’s only a small part of my life.

Marc – Ahh, a careful druggy *smiling*

Musett – At your service *bowing*

Marc – I’m just kiiiiiidding *higher pitched voice*, so you said it was a small part of who you are, what is a bigger part?

Musett – I don’t know if I could say for sure, but I would say the desire for companionship.  I want someone to deeply love for the rest of my life.  I want to commit to them and make them happy and to be there for them and for them to be there for me.  I want beauty and to share it. I want a life of happiness.

Marc– Haha, damn well put.  It’s nice having someone you can depend on.  Someone who has the desire to grow and change and wants only the same of you.  And if you don’t, they are okay with that as well. So aside from pining for love *smiling*, what else comprises the “bigger section”?

Musett – I love reading a lot.  Books are like mini documentaries, they show you a new world that you’ve never seen whether imaginary or real.  It’s easy to think that the way we think is the true, rational way of thinking and of course all rational people before us have thought the same way.  It’s not true at all, haha, each generation has its own problems and paradigm.  They are just trying to figure life out the same way we are, and thankfully we have a record of their struggles in books.

Marc – We are lucky aren’t we, the brotherhood of man also goes backwards and forwards.  I feel like a part of me grows from every book I read.  It is inevitable I guess.  Heh, I wonder how many people have had a similar conversation to ours and if it has spawned any books?  Probably over a cigarette too *smiling.

Musett – I would argue that the quality and flavor of these cigarettes probably makes our conversation and insight also superior in quality and flavor to the thinkers of the past.  *smiling*

Marc – Haha, I agree.  Hell yeah…Pause…Yeah, they are pretty good. My friend from home smokes them, that’s how I heard of them.  I wish my body had a better nicotine tolerance, id smoke all day all night.  Isnt this so peaceful?

Musett – Oooh, did you feel that wind gust?  Haha, almost put my cigarette out.  Yeah, it’s strangely peaceful.  The air looks clearer in the winter, like you can see more of the world around you.

Marc – Yeah, you’re right.  The night sky looks darker, stars brighter…  Faces more beautiful

(Musett gets about an inch from Marc’s face, looks at him for a moment and they both kiss gently)  After a few moments they hug.

Musett – …Pause…

Marc –   You have nice lips *smiling*

Musett – Oh these old things….  *smiling*  So where are you from?

Marc – Wisconsin.  Ever been there?

Musett – No, nowhere near it *smiling*

Marc – It’s such a great state, there is a ton of history there.  I guess during the civil war there was a brigade that went around that people named the “Iron Brigade” from Wisconsin.  They were known to never retreat from a battle taking massive losses, but they were immovable; so courageous.  I am a total wimp but they were badasses *smiling*

Musett – I hear alcohol gives one courage, shall we? (motions to head back inside)

Marc –*offers arm*

Both head back inside to join the rest of the group

Roldo – Hey, we should play a game.

Schaun – …..Never have I ever….  Punched someone in the face.

Amira – *puts one finger down*  … it was in a student movie we were shooting, It was supposed to go over his left shoulder… but it hit him in the face. *smiles*

Schaun – Brutal, was he pissed?

 

Amira – Haha yeah, really pissed, but whatever, I am a girl, what could he do. *smiling*  Never have I ever…. Played ……Edward 40 hands.

Lucia – Oooooh. I love that game, I played in college a few times, it is really unbearable after a while.  Your hands get all sweaty and you have to pee so badly but it’s fun as hell.  You all look like idiots but you all look like idiots together.   Never have I ever…… …….. ….. been single on Christmas eve.

*Everyone keeps their fingers up a bit awkwardly, even Roldo who looks a bit uncomfortable.

Schaun – *to Roldo*  Dude, you’ve been dating Sammy for six years, we are counting from our “dating maturity life” put your damn finger down.

Roldo – ….. um….*searching for words*…  I broke up with her a few hours ago.

………….

Marc – Holy shit, dude, … are you ok?

Roldo – ……..Yeah,…. I’m sorry guys, I didn’t mean to bring this up, I just should have put my finger down. *smiling*  I am ok though, just being here tonight is so fantastic.

Schaun – Well, we’ll all do a toast to your newfound freedom.  And hey, at least Lucia is still going strong.

Lucia – *Smiling*  I’m actually single.  I just thought it would be funny to see who else was sad and pathetic like myself. Apparently everyone. *smiling*  Hey do you guys want to head out and walk around outside for a bit?

Group continues their conversation while they leave and begin walking around the park as a group.

Marc – We’re at least poor, what’s your excuse for being single.

Lucia – We’re poor as well.

Musett – Yup.

Amira – Yup.. poverty.

Roldo – Ahh, I see.  Well, Schaun, you are officially our sugar daddy.

Schaun – …Oh the irony.

Amira, Musett, Lucia – ?

Schaun – Long story short, I sang at this kids party, mother was lonely and wanted some company, boom, extra thousand bucks.

Lucia – Wait, was the party today?

Schaun – Yeah, this afternoon.

Lucia – Was it on ______ rd.

Schaun –  Yeah. 2964 _________ rd.

Lucia – did the woman have curly dark brown hair?

Schaun – …  yes….

Lucia – …. I think you banged my mom.

Schaun – Are.. you.. upset by this…. ? (awkwardly, sheepishly)

Lucia – No not really, small world though I guess.  My dad left her a few years ago.  It was probably the best time she has had in ten years.  Though you do seem to have small hands so who knows… *smiling*

Schaun – Haha, I guess we’ll just have to ask her.  She seems nice though, I hope she finds someone.

Lucia – The problem is that she can get down on herself and doesn’t try as hard as she should to find someone.  I think she could really find someone special if she believed that she was adequate for love.

Roldo – Why do you think she feels so inadequate?

Lucia – I don’t know for sure, I think she feels like she needs to be someone who is ideal, someone impossibly better that she is supposed to be and that that will solve all her problems.  She tries to emulate this person and works really hard at it, but never accomplishes it, because it doesn’t exist.  I want to shake her and tell her that there is no “best” to achieve or no “perfect” to achieve.  It is just her, the goal is to discover who she is, free from any thought concerning how others might judge her.  That is something that no one can take away and it becomes self-vindicating.  I think that this is the definition of self-love, and if you find it then you can truly connect with others and love others.  She doesn’t feel it, so she assumes the problem is that she isn’t lovable, using others as the ruler.  It is really scary, and I don’t want it for myself, but I feel it, I grew up with it and it is so hard to fight against those instincts.

Coll –  I mean, isn’t that the classic scenario?  When the philosophers constructed their systems, they weren’t trying to solve the world, or existence; they are trying to solve themselves, find out who they were and how they fit into the world around them.  Their philosophy is their life, their view and their attempt to discover it.  And these were some of the greatest of all thinkers, still struggling.

Musett – Hey bitch (to Lucia), you better know how much we love you *smiling* ….. I do this thing where I walk around, even if it is just by myself, and attempt to acknowledge my first reaction to things: my first thought, or first word, first sensation and decipher what it means, what I really think, not what I feel I am supposed to think.  Sometimes really beautiful things emerge, sometimes very ugly things.  But it is inevitably honest, and I end up having a great time doing it, though it can be frustrating sometimes. I think being honest is so scary because it always involves discovering something new about oneself.

Marc – What is your first reaction to seeing that room filled with dazzling, sparkly arcade games?

Musett – Seems interesting, but I’m definitely not as interested as you seem to be *smiling*  Let’s go over and check it out.

 

Marc – Hey guys, we’ll catch up with you later!

The group waves and says bye as Marc and Musett leave the group to go to the arcade by themselves.

Roldo – Hey Lucia, do you want to check out one of those coasters?  I heard this one was pretty cool.

Lucia – Yeah sure, sounds like fun. You guys up for it?

Coll – *to Amira* how are you feeling, I kind of feel like just walking around, I don’t know if I can handle the stress of a coaster *smiling*

Amira – Yeah, just walking sounds nice.

Roldo and Lucia leave the group to go on the roller coasters

Schaun – Hey, if they are leaving I am going to go back to the bar, I feel bad being the third wheel for you guys.

Coll – Hey man, you should keep walking with us, check out the amusement park.

Schaun – Nah, it’s ok, i’m not nearly as drunk as I had planned, I stick to my plans Coll!! *smiling*

Schaun leaves the group and Coll and Amira continue walking exploring the park

Schaun’s Monologue as he walks back to the bar, orders a drink.

*walking, cold, checking out the cute girls as they walk by, smiling at them occasionally*

Schaun – Holy shit, what is going on tonight *smiling*…  Those dudes found some special ladies.  *thinks about what kind of drink he wants at the bar *  Haha, this is totally wrong but I want a beer right now, Marc would kill me if he knew I wasn’t drinking whisky. *smiling*   *he walks admiring the white Christmas lights all around him* I wonder who will be at the bar.  So who goes to a park like this: bored teens, bored college kids back from home, families with a sense of humor. *goes up to one of the carnies, looks at the game and looks at the stuffed animals*  Hey man, could I buy that stuffed animal off of you, i’ll give you fifty bucks for it. *points at a stuffed animal of a puppy with a little Christmas hat on*

Carnie – Haha, fifty bucks?… yeah it’s all yours.  The girlfriend wanted it?

Schaun – Nah, I just like it. *smiling*  *Continues to bar with puppy under his arm* ………

 

*To his right there is a beautiful girl with two of her friends, she looks a bit annoyed as her friends are talking to each other*

Schaun – *walks over next to her* Hey, i’m about to order a drink, what do you think I should order?

Hannah – *big smile comes over her face* Haha, umm, i’m not sure.  How about this, what is your favorite type of alcohol, or drink?

Schaun – Hmm… White Russians.

Hannah – Ok.. well I love red wine, cab.  So, mix the two.

Schaun – *to bartender*  Ok, this is going to sound odd, but could I get a White Russian with a glass of cabernet mixed in with it.

Bartender – Haha, are you sure??

Schaun – Haha, no I’m not at all sure *smiling* but let’s give it a go.

Bartender – Alright.

Schaun – *to Hannah* you realize that this is going to kill me right?

Hannah – ????

Schaun – I love cab as well, you have mixed the two greatest things together into one caldron.  How can I move past this, my creative life has ended.  Beethoven has created his 9th symphony.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the world stopped rotating at this point.

Hannah – You have low standards *smiling*.. For the world to stop spinning we would have to add a sweet toasting catch phrase for the drink.  Drinks don’t stand alone my friend, it is all about the ambiance *smiling*

Schaun – Hmm, what do you think the toast should be?

Hannah – Hmm…. How about….. “What’s your name”

Schaun – ????

Hannah – “What’s your name!”… ?

Schaun – Haha, I see… Schaun, you?

Hannah – Hannah

Schaun  – Well it’s nice to meet you Hannah, ok.. lets try this out. *both toast and Schaun takes a sip* … Well… I have a feeling it will taste better the more I drink it *smiling

Hannah – It’s pretty bad?

Schaun – Nah, it’s not too bad, has a hint of berries with a final basenote of saw dust.

Hannah – Ahhh!  I love sawdust!!!  Give me a sip! *smiling*

*Schaun hands her glass, she takes a sip*

 

Hannah – Yup, that’s bad, haha, that’s very bad.

Schaun – So you guys are just hanging out here? *other two girls take no notice of Hannah and Schaun conversing*

Hannah – Yeah we didn’t have much to do, I know them from school, they wanted to come out here.

Schaun – I take it that you didn’t?

Hannah – To be honest, no, not at all, haha.  The bar scene isn’t really my thing but they love it.  I’d rather hang out at home with my friends and just chat.

Schaun – That’s fair, my roommates are pretty similar, I love the bars, you always get to meet interesting people and it’s nice to hear live music.  At bars especially it is nice, low pressure.  It’s not really a show they are putting on, they are just sharing their music with you.  One of the best shows I’ve ever seen was this bluegrass trio who were all huddled around this one mic.   The lead singer was this huge seven foot tall guy and the lead banjo player must have been five six if not less.  So with the mic in between them the little guy had to crane his neck up to sing, and the big dude had to hunch over. For some reason it was super expressive, and they were just having a blast.  I normally don’t like bluegrass, but they won me over.  Haha, the bassist was comfortable as hell just plucking away.

Hannah – Haha, well he certainly had to make up for it by having to lug around that giant instrument his whole life *smiling*…..  I don’t think I’ve ever seen live bluegrass music but live classical music can be pretty thrilling.  Part of it is just the virtuosity that most classical music involves.  You just know how much the performers have practiced and how hardened they are by their resolve to become professionals.  But even with all that practicing, the music is made fresh, right in front of you, completely new and gone in an instant.

Schaun – I know! Live music is incredible, it is breathing life, it is electrifying.  It is something you can’t see or touch, but it invades you completely, intoxicates you.

Hannah –Schaun, do you want to get super hammered with me tonight?  I don’t think I can handle those two any more sober.

 

Schaun – Haha, hell yeah, I’d love to.  That was actually my plan before I saw you.  My roommates are out walking the park with some girls we met tonight.  I was the …. 7th wheel so I decided to enjoy the night Schaun style…

Hannah – which is?

Schaun – Drunk.

Hannah – Haha, that’s a little bit sad.

Schaun – Haha, it is isn’t it?  I don’t mind, I always end up having a good time.

Hannah – Hey, no judgment here, I love me a bottle of wine or two. *smiling* So, how is the drink now? Still awful?

Schaun– Yeah, still awful, but at least I will always think of you whenever someone has either a white Russian or red wine, so it’s not so bad.

Hannah – Just make sure that you think of me with a little more makeup and my hair brushed.

Schaun – No way, you look great.  I wouldn’t change a thing.

Hannah – What is your favorite feature?

 

Schaun – ?? feature?

 

Hannah – On me, what do you like the most?

Schaun – Haha, what the hell, umm, well, ……..  they all certainly work together harmoniously for the whole effect, but I like your lips, yeah your lips, they look very soft.  Alright miss self-confidence, what feature do you like most about me.

Hannah – I like your eyes, they are actually quite stunning.  Very handsome.

Schaun – *Schaun looks at Hannah for a bit, speechless and astounded, soaking her up with his eyes, breathing is a bit heaver from emotion….. glances at his near empty drink* ……………. Bartender, could I get another one of these uhh.. Red Russians?

Bartender – Sure.

Hannah– I’ll have another vodka as well please.

*bartender nods*

Hannah  – Did your family ever put up Christmas decorations on your house when you were growing up?

Schaun – No not really, we put up a tree but that was about it.

Hannah – I remember growing up near this neighbor who would put up thousands of dollars worth of decorations, probably another couple thousand in extra energy cost to light them all.  It was really incredible.  At the time it seemed so grotesque and even a bit obtrusive.  But looking back, it must have been so much fun for that family to set them up together.  Probably eggnog involved as well, haha.

Schaun – Haha, I wish I could have seen what it looked like.

Hannah – They had these giant gingerbread men, like ten of them, they would attach them to their wooden fence.

Schaun – Embarrassing for the gingerbread men.  Ok, I remember one year we put up Christmas lights.  We strung the lights across the gutters and after putting them up realized that they were blinking lights that could blink only by strand and there was no way to sync them up to blink together.  So you saw this house, with three strings of lights, all blinking independently.  It was like a scene from a horror movie when the character walks into a busted down amusement park where all the lights are flickering and disturbingly mistimed.

Hannah – Do you think, someday, that this very amusement park will be the scene of a horror film *smiling*

Schaun– Undoubtedly. This bar will probably be the scene of the final showdown between the killer carnie and the young couple trying to survive their first date.

Hannah – My guess is that they evade the killer, find a perfect hiding place, and consummate their survival.

Schaun – Hmm, there probably aren’t a lot of hiding spots in an amusement park, especially if it is in winter.

Hannah– Who said it was in winter?  *smiling*

Schaun – Oh, haha, oops.

Hannah– Well, it is set in winter, so you were correct. *smiling*  They are in love, they will find one *smiling*

Schaun – Have you ever been in love?

Hannah – Yeah, I think so, but very briefly.  Love for me had been a moment, a moment in myself where I was happy with who I was, and strong, and powerful, and I gave that love to someone who I think felt the same way.  I was in my teens and circumstances arose that I didn’t know how to deal with which caused the ending of the relationship but know now what happened and how I could have dealt with it, ultimately I don’t think it would have been a fruitful relationship, but I think I could have called it love, however brief.

Schaun – Those are certainly beautiful moments, they aren’t recognized in the moment, they almost can’t be, it would annihilate itself, negate itself.  But looking back they appear so pure and beautiful.  Mine was my first kiss and certainly all of the events leading up to it.  The excitement of it all, the first time!  I remember having a little fear in the back of my head that it wasn’t real, that she didn’t actually want to kiss me and I was terrified that she would say no, reject me.  But following through was a powerful feeling in me.  As you get older it seems less invasive, but when it is new, you are so vulnerable.

Hannah – Maybe we just hide our feeling of vulnerability better as we get older.

Schaun – It’s possible.  It’s hard to let your guard down in those scenarios, feel truly vulnerable and loving.  Wow these Red Russians are doing strange things to me, I don’t think I’ve ever talked about these things with someone.

Hannah – Haha, its good! Get it off your chest!

Schaun – So, doc, I started cutting at age twelve and just haven’t stopped, I think it may be becoming an unhealthy habit.

Hannah – I prescribe you one more drink then we go for a walk.

 

Schaun – Haha, ok, thank you, I’ll buy your drink for the advice.

Hannah – You don’t have to, but it is appreciated.

Schaun – *orders another drink for the both of them*

*Roldo and Lucia slowly snaking through the line for the roller coaster*

Lucia – So how are you holding up?

Roldo – Ahh, i’m fine, this breakup was something that had to happen eventually. I actually feel relieved by it.  I constantly have to fight against a feeling of…. complacency.  It is easy to reassure yourself that things aren’t that bad when in actuality they are subtly ….poisonous.

Lucia – What do you mean by subtly poisonous?

Roldo – Umm, that deeper insecurities and inadequacies are actually what are at play, a calm point in the relationship somehow vindicates the bad, that the bad was a “fluke” or something that we needed to get over, one gets a false sense of growth, even though the fighting tends to predominate.  The mind forgets the pain out of a desire for love and comfort.  

Lucia– Do you love yourself?

Roldo – Haha, god damnit, no, no way  haha.  It’s funny because I try to, and I think and use reason but somehow my towering faults seem to vindicate my lack of self-love.

Lucia – You don’t know yourself

Roldo – I …

Lucia – You think you do, but you don’t.  Let it evolve, let yourself evolve, let it blossom as it needs to.  You don’t know yourself.

Roldo – I… Lucia, so how has your night been so far?  Have you been having a good time?  I know we’ve interrupted you from your traditional pond moment *smiling*

Lucia – Haha, yeah, it’s been a great night.  You guys have been really fun to hang out with.  I like how you all value creativity and newness.  I know your relationship was dysfunctional but a breakup is still never easy and I feel bad, I want you to be happy.   I… I…..*Lucia hugs Roldo*  I understand you Roldo.  You are honest about the way you feel.  You don’t know how attractive you are.

Roldo – Do you really think so?

Lucia – Try to kiss me.  If I let you, then I am being honest, if not well…

Roldo – *Gets close to Lucia,  leans in and kisses her.  Lucia kisses him more passionately* *They both hear an AHEM coming from behind Roldo, the line has moved and they are holding it up*  Ahh, sorry.

Old Woman – No problem. *Smirking a little*

Roldo  – Shall we?

Lucia – After you. *smiling* *they walk further down to continue the line*…….. So what’s the deal with you guys?  I know you are all pursuing your art.  What is it like?

Roldo – ……….We are struggling.  The true breathing life of the bohemian is an essential struggle; whatever weird art they are pursuing for whatever reason, and earning a satisfying living.   But he is lonely, and his art may mean something he doesn’t want it to mean.  A replacement for real living.  Perhaps it has the qualities of an artistic journal, but it isn’t real, it is imaginary, which is great, romantic and powerful.  But it isn’t flesh and blood.

Lucia – Are you lonely?

Roldo – I think our time as bohemians has to come to an end.  I haven’t experienced a night like this in years, you are my angel, you stir my blood.  Am I lonely?  This night has killed my loneliness.  You are so beautiful Lucia…………………….  Marc, Coll and Schaun, all of us, Schaun probably wouldn’t admit it, are looking to love someone.  We want connection with someone who we can share ourselves with, share our lives, grow and hurt together.  Explore the beauty of life that only lovers can appreciate.

Lucia – Roldo……..  that’s a nice pick up line, but I’ve caught you! *smiling*  You probably say that to every girl you meet *joking*

Roldo – Haha, well how was my delivery?  Did it seem authentic, as if I was saying it for the first time?

Lucia – Yeah, it was pretty good, I was convinced, hey, looks like we are holding up the line again.

Roldo – *smiling*

*They both move forward*

*Both hug, holding each other tightly*

*Coll and Amira walking*

Coll – What was your favorite Christmas?

Amira – Hmm.  I think my favorite Christmas was a few years ago when my friend and I actually stayed away from our families, haha.  We got really drunk Christmas morning… then for dinner we went out to a Japanese restaurant and got hot pot.  I had the opportunity to go home but my friend couldn’t afford it.  I also didn’t want to go haha.  So we just had a great time, saw some live music that night.  The band was pretty good.  A comedian opened for them and he got heckled hard.  Haha, that’s the Christmas spirit eh.

Coll – Haha, assholes.  Man, what a fantastic time we live in.  So much is available to us at any time.  Now, I can concede that the Japanese restaurant probably isn’t purely authentic, but the style is there.  There is so much for the modern man to experience and consume.  Various sections of life for us to sample.  If I create something I can share it instantly, the brotherhood of man is, in a way, coming true through technology and the ease of sharing.  We are truly the greatest generation not only because of the beauty and quality of what we have created, but we were the first to experience it.  We mold it and are molding our times.  What generation could get wasted in the morning, go to a Japanese restaurant that night, watch a professional comedian and a live band in a bar within driving distance.  It is really amazing.

Amira – I agree, though my fear is that we are missing something on the opposite end.  We have so much entertainment in front of us that our lives could get washed away by it, unknowingly.

Coll – What would you do if you could live forever?

Amira – Take lots and lots of heroin.

Coll – haha,

Amira– Seriously though, there would be no point in developing myself, there would be no tension on the rope, no fear of being pulled.

Coll – What would you do if you had one month to live.

Amira– I’m not sure. It would be so tough to come to grips with.  I’d probably do some messed up things haha.

Coll – Life is really put into perspective with that very question isn’t it?  It seems so simple and obvious but I think it is love that rises to the top of desires.  Happiness.  I can’t imagine a grudge deep enough that would trump a desire for happiness, a power above any resentment…

Amira – The end of my life isn’t really on my mind right now though.  Some roasted nuts are though..

Coll – Haha, uhh.

Amira– …  Hey Bozo… roasted nuts *points to a roasted nut stand*

Coll – I haven’t had those in years.

Amira– I promise they are just as good as when you had them last.

Coll – Hey, do you maybe want to take off?  I kind of want to head home, I’d love for you to join me.

Amira– Sure. I’d like that.

*They share a package and continue for their walk*

 

Fin

 

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