This Shitty Feeling

Wtf is this shitty feeling.  It came from my bringing up, super awkwardly and I’ll fatedly about how I didn’t want Aop to feel like I was trying to get more money out of them by regenogistng. B got the impression that I saw trying to hide money from M, which I wasn’t at all.  I was awkward about it and stuttered a lot. I feel so shitty about it and just a burning anxiety.  God damn I hate this feeling.  I feel like a child who is just bungling things. I feel like I get where I need to be, then bungle that one thing which fucks me. I don’t think this will be an issue here.  I just hate that I couldn’t clarity myself, that I wasn’t trying to screw over my manager. Hopefully my clumsiness in speech will make it seem like I am asking the question rather than trying to be subversive. That I am lacking knowledge and asking rather than manipulating.  

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