This feeling that I wasted my youth, NY childhood. I mean I genuinely have blank feelings towards my childhood, for whatever reason. Just blankness, no fun. I didn’t have fun. I only recall being sent to my room. For god knows what reason. I probably deserved it but jesus christ. Well ideally it would have incited a feeling of wanting to leave. But somehow instead it left me feeling inadequate and crushingly dependant. I mean again I suppose I can’t complain, it could have been worse. But I was just a shitty kid. Ruined all of my friendships, probably because I had no basis for successful interaction. No role model.