It’s Ok

The “It’s ok” mindset keeps coming back as the answer. It always does. It is a cure, deep down. Yet again it is the answer. And it’s this eye looking over my shoulder that is put to rest. That’s the cure. That’s the disease. I don’t know where it all came from but it’s the answer and has been for years. I remember it when I was thirteen. It’s the same feeling. Every neurotic instinct of mine acts against it though. It fights it every step of the way. It’s a relief though, the feeling. It’s really fantastic and I feel empowered, shielded from bullshit. It changes, it really does, the view of life, the way it feels. You don’t have to worry. But what about when it feels not ok. When I feel jealous or imposed on, when I feel inferior, left out. I dont know. I suppose the feeling is that it has nothing to do with me. And that protects me from it.
It starts with me. On the inside. My happiness starts on the inside, beyond anything I am actually doing. It starts inside me. It just kind of settles everything inside.  It just calms the nerves. It really does, it starts on the inside. It kind of makes everything ok. It needs no reason. It relishes the self, It doesnt worry. It validates the self.

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